I thought everything was going well but all it took was just one sms. Maybe just let her settle her problem on her side first.
I don't know how to carry on this friendship if she doesn't even reply back. She wanted to forget her ex. How do i know when is the time to contact or know that she is feeling better? 1 month? 1 year? or maybe meeting her one day at the street? Is that the fate she was refering to?
Yes i can give alot of care, concern, attention and love but what if she began to think i'm bothering her? won't it be worst? I'm so afraid there might be misunderstanding during smsing. I might be saying one thing and she might thing i'm saying another thing. If only we could chat thing over the phone. I'm happy to say that i'm so in love right now with her. If only she knew how i'm feeling and i know how she is feeling now or is it one sided love..? so many unanswer question.. mixed feeling emotion.
On a second thought, serving ns while being in love could be a hinder. Unable to give the mention above the fullest. It can't be help if you really love someone.
You can say i'm a greenhorn in love relationship. Its better this way then to go hurting other people feeling to gain that love experience. Right? This are just my views. There is no right or wrong answer.
What should i do? I suppose time will tell? Keeping my finger cross hoping that she'll contact me when she's better or when i contact her everything will be well.
---
Surprising that we could book out on friday. Everyone's morale was blown sky high knowing we were allowed to book out. Why? heard rumors that our Officer in Command aka OC strike lottery..? or maybe reasons at the bottom at the end of this blog entry.
Saturday morning went out to play soccer with my ITE mates at Hougang. Thats the first game since i got enlisted into NS! Calvin, Erik, Hung Poh, Aidil, Yan Song, Arul, Xinghong and myself. As usual they were late when meeting up... -_-
Decided to drop by Ang Mo Kio to see my other Aunts and cats :p Been about more then a month since i saw all of them. We got a new cat, Garfield! Handsome boy. I'll try to get its photos when i book out.
Didn't went for the church service as i was tired and wanted to stay at home. When i mention home means the 3 places i usual goes too. Tampines, Hougang and Ang Mo Kio. I heard that my OC was also from City Harvest!!! haha.
---
Was thinking about my future past few days...
if my life was like a movie, how do i like it to be? I seem pretty lost. I don't want to spend my 2 years of NS just like that. I want to do something more! More meaningful and more advantageous. I want my life to be colourful !!! but i'm being tie down by time.
Bleh!!! I won't be around for 2 weeks... Going for live firing range on the next weekend 1st and 2nd October. Will be back on 8th October or maybe 6th... depends on the Officer. It'll be like a 2 weeks confinement.
1 hour more to book in...
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
I'm soooo tired but i had fun going out!!!
Anyway i'm looking for piano and drumming teacher because i wanna learn to play it!!! Haha hard to believe huh? But its for REAL!
Had anyone tried mobile blogging yet? I'm not sure if it works within Singapore. Sometimes in camp i got the urge to blog... and by the time i got back home that type of feeling is not there. Understand?
Got to get ready for book in soon... *cries*
Anyway i'm looking for piano and drumming teacher because i wanna learn to play it!!! Haha hard to believe huh? But its for REAL!
Had anyone tried mobile blogging yet? I'm not sure if it works within Singapore. Sometimes in camp i got the urge to blog... and by the time i got back home that type of feeling is not there. Understand?
Got to get ready for book in soon... *cries*
Sunday, September 11, 2005
How should i start...?
Hmmm if you were to scroll down to when i started blogging on national service its also about the same. BUT this time the training has gone TOUGHER. Much tougher then the previous batch.
Only the second day, the new recruits already got *screwed* by the sgts. I was the IC aka in charge of the platoon for the first week. Having 44 men under me, the feeling was pretty cool. There were good and bad point being IC. For me, importance of the an IC is to make sure all my men are accountable for whatever activies we do and having to make sure they don't get punish or "screwed" by any of the Sgts or Officers.
As a out of course recruit, they had TONS OF QUESTIONS to ask me... Sometimes i don't really want to tell them because i'll spoilt the "fun" if they know whats going on and its not as though the Sgts or Officers will tell me everything.
One popular question they like to ask me is... what is the next day training program.. WHAT THE....? Can't they see that i'm also training together with them instead of being inside the office? BLEH!
What i could share with them was how to be able to last the 12 weeks BMT course. Alway look forward to a brand new day instead of complaning this and that. Time will pass faster this way.
Looking at how they train, reminds of me when i joined on 1st June. Can't even do a standard pumping, do a single pull up and many other stuff. Sometime causing the platoon to do extra punishment or should i say extra physical training because i couldn't endure the pain or was exhausted to carry on. Whenever do we training, its always one for all, all for one. Meaning we got to think for the others instead of ourself. 1 suffer all suffer together or 1 enjoy all enjoy together. Understand? I could always hear my platoon mates encouraging one and another to endure and pushing ourselves to the limit!!!
But now its a different thing!!! I could do this do that. Thats why i agree with this phrase "The best form of welfare is tough training" I'm putting what i had learned into this current batch. Shouting and shouting encourging them to endure!!! Thats why you can hear my sexy hoarse voice. Muhahaha.
I suppose there is also a price to pay. I hurt my left knee 3 weeks ago and it was an old injury. Till now i still feel the strain on the left knee even when i'm relaxing. Grrr...
On friday, met a interesting friend from Boon Keng Primary School, Geraldine and her friend for dinner. Everyone was so shy, just smile smile only. Muhahaha Talked about how the school was although she was not my classmate. haha
Saturday as usual went to church with Wanxiu. She was re-baptism in water. Had to soak the whole body into the body.. hmm interesting. is it to clean away the sins or can anyone explain to me? maybe should ask her to bring a oxygen tank in so can clean the sins longer for disturbing me! =X
As for today, i went to another church! Just to look around. Angela brought me to this neighbourhood church along bradell road. Its small compare to City Harvest Church. Well can't stay long there as i got to get my book in stuff ready.
1 more HOUR TO BOOK IN !!!
Got this from my email
One Of These Days
A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This," he said, "isn't any ordinary package."He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it." He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said, "Never save something for a special occasion. Everyday in your life is a special occasion".
I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and cleanless. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and"One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters that I wanted to write.
"One of these days" - I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not enough time at least, how much I love them. Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.
Hmmm if you were to scroll down to when i started blogging on national service its also about the same. BUT this time the training has gone TOUGHER. Much tougher then the previous batch.
Only the second day, the new recruits already got *screwed* by the sgts. I was the IC aka in charge of the platoon for the first week. Having 44 men under me, the feeling was pretty cool. There were good and bad point being IC. For me, importance of the an IC is to make sure all my men are accountable for whatever activies we do and having to make sure they don't get punish or "screwed" by any of the Sgts or Officers.
As a out of course recruit, they had TONS OF QUESTIONS to ask me... Sometimes i don't really want to tell them because i'll spoilt the "fun" if they know whats going on and its not as though the Sgts or Officers will tell me everything.
One popular question they like to ask me is... what is the next day training program.. WHAT THE....? Can't they see that i'm also training together with them instead of being inside the office? BLEH!
What i could share with them was how to be able to last the 12 weeks BMT course. Alway look forward to a brand new day instead of complaning this and that. Time will pass faster this way.
Looking at how they train, reminds of me when i joined on 1st June. Can't even do a standard pumping, do a single pull up and many other stuff. Sometime causing the platoon to do extra punishment or should i say extra physical training because i couldn't endure the pain or was exhausted to carry on. Whenever do we training, its always one for all, all for one. Meaning we got to think for the others instead of ourself. 1 suffer all suffer together or 1 enjoy all enjoy together. Understand? I could always hear my platoon mates encouraging one and another to endure and pushing ourselves to the limit!!!
But now its a different thing!!! I could do this do that. Thats why i agree with this phrase "The best form of welfare is tough training" I'm putting what i had learned into this current batch. Shouting and shouting encourging them to endure!!! Thats why you can hear my sexy hoarse voice. Muhahaha.
I suppose there is also a price to pay. I hurt my left knee 3 weeks ago and it was an old injury. Till now i still feel the strain on the left knee even when i'm relaxing. Grrr...
On friday, met a interesting friend from Boon Keng Primary School, Geraldine and her friend for dinner. Everyone was so shy, just smile smile only. Muhahaha Talked about how the school was although she was not my classmate. haha
Saturday as usual went to church with Wanxiu. She was re-baptism in water. Had to soak the whole body into the body.. hmm interesting. is it to clean away the sins or can anyone explain to me? maybe should ask her to bring a oxygen tank in so can clean the sins longer for disturbing me! =X
As for today, i went to another church! Just to look around. Angela brought me to this neighbourhood church along bradell road. Its small compare to City Harvest Church. Well can't stay long there as i got to get my book in stuff ready.
1 more HOUR TO BOOK IN !!!
Got this from my email
One Of These Days
A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This," he said, "isn't any ordinary package."He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it." He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said, "Never save something for a special occasion. Everyday in your life is a special occasion".
I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and cleanless. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and"One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters that I wanted to write.
"One of these days" - I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not enough time at least, how much I love them. Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.
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