Remembering the sweet moments...

Decisions‏

2009-08-09T01:23:00.002+08:00

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track. The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the disused track and saved most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.............

How do you decide

What is your decision?

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.

The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him. The friend who forwarded me the story said he would not try to change he course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track!

Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of >all>passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids. While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one."Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right." Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

Ranks in the Army

2009-08-09T01:16:00.001+08:00

REC - Really Enduring Camp in Tekong.

PTE - Physically Trained Expert after Tekong.

LCP - Lowest Confident Personnel in camp cuz u r still inexperience yet stil need to sign many extra like your seniors.

CPL - Cannot Play Liao cuz u r a senior in NSF.

SGT - Sayin Goodbye Thank u to your life as a NSF cuz ORD is coming.

SSG - Showing Social Grace bt informing pple not to call u sergeant anymore but stuff cuz its nicer to hear.

MSG - Must Say Good no matter wad to your commanders so that u will get your first amulet on yr shoulder faster

MWO - Must Watch Out for troublesome pple out to find trouble and give them extras.

SWO - Still Waiting Orders cuz you still need to serve other officers dispite your senior agr and experience.

LTA - listening To Advice cuz yr OC told u to do so and u cant disobey

CPT - Call Please Thanks cuz u r busy with work everyday and have no time to reply, especially at office.

MAJ - Must Always Joke so that pple in SAFTI MI will recognise u as a potential talent to commanding post.

LTC - Later Then Comfirm cuz u got so many meetings to attend.

COL - Content Over Leadership especially after taking so many >commanding post of your life, u still want to command pple , even at home.

BG - Better Gone cuz you almost reach the peak of your career and >planning retirement early unless you wanna be Chief Of Army or enter polities.

MG - Media Glamour cuz your pictures will be take anywhere at any SAF magazine, especially if u r Chief Of Army

LG - Last Game cuz its the highest peak u can go now in army, nth to compete for.

Can you read it?‏

2009-08-09T01:10:00.002+08:00

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs?

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

2009-08-09T01:10:00.001+08:00

Great Philosophy about LIFE.‏

2009-08-09T00:51:00.003+08:00

A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.He then asked the students again if the jar was full.They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else.He asked once more if the jar was full.The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

'The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

'The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

'The sand is everything else--the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf bal is.

'The same goes for life.

'If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.Play with your children.'Take time to get medical checkups.'Take your partner out to dinner.'Play another 18. 'There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.'Set your priorities.'The rest is just sand.

'One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked.'It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.'

2006-08-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

I just added a temp chatbox in.. this blogskin is just for fun only..

Looking for a new blogskin is not that easy. Thought of creating one but it might take forever... so yar someday.. :p

2006-08-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

HELLLOOOOO!!!!!

As you can really really see.. i'm in the mist of changing the blog skin. Meanwhile do wait patiently for the new changes. Will update about myself etc etc.. anything under the big sun you can ask me..

STAY TUNE!!!

2006-05-07T04:45:00.000+08:00

Amazing that my blog is still around...

Well i did say that i'll blog often but i'm not doing it. Reasons? I ONLY like to blog at night WITH smoothing music like the usual songs and now worship songs!!! Those like in slow tempo somesort. Anyway this will make me relax and going into a reflective mode thinking of what is happening around me and myself.

So the latest decent blog was on 7th March! Thats way long! So how is everyone doing?

2006-04-05T06:49:00.000+08:00

-------------JANUARY BABY--------------------

Pretty/Handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to
recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. .

------------FEBRUARY BABY -----------------

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------

Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.

------------------APRIL BABY -------------------

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains.

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited.

------------JUNE BABY -------------

You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. You
have a great choice in films, and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!!

----------------JULY BABY --------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.
spazzy at times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover.

------------AUGUST BABY ---------------

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter.

------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive.

-----The End-----

Which is yours?

2006-03-16T21:26:00.000+08:00

Found this in the newspaper. Enjoy!!!

What is Love?

ASKED "What does love means?", a bunch of kids came up with these answers:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even thought he has arthritis in his hands too. Thats's love.
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth".
"Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay."
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whom you hate."
"Love is when my mummy sees my daddy smelly and sweaty but still says he is more handsome than Brad Pitt."
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

-----

Click on the pictures to enlarge.

How many horses in this picture? Should find 7

Look at the middle column. Where does it end?

Do you see 4 people?

2006-03-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

How do you describe me?

Click on the link below to describe what a person am i.

The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Wang+Guofeng+Lionel

2006-03-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

What's Love?

When you are together with with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person.
But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them.
At that moment, you are in LOVE.
Althought there is someone else who always makes you laugh,
your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone.
Then, you are in LOVE.
Althought that special someone was supposed to have called you long back,
to let you know of their safe arrival,
your phone is quiet.
You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in LOVE.
If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mail, you are in LOVE.
When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in LOVE.
When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would
not hesitate to think of that special someone.
Then, you are in LOVE.
You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in LOVE.
While you are reading this page, if someone appears in your mind, then you are in LOVE with that person.

-----

Hi people!!! Yesh i know its been rather long that i blog. I notice a drop in visitor coming into my blog because of not blogging i suppose. Bleeeh!!! Average is about 30 viewers per week. I din't know my life was interesting :p *thick-skin*

On 5th March was my birthday did you know that?! I'm 21 now. More responsible i suppose... I don't celebrate my birthday at all so its not much of a surprise for this year too. But then again i met this group of friends i knew from chruch since last year August. Sang me a birthday song... haha that was so so long ago someone sang to me. I got a book as present, title "Growing as a Christian 101". Thanks guys and those who smsed me!!! Well actually i got a list of items i want =X anyway its the thought that counts.

Hey if you want to know whats IN MY LIST, feel free to ask me! I won't hesitate to tell you :p

I shall be blogging quite often now since i got posted out. Now its 8-5 job for me. *cheers* I'll update whats going on in camp about me the next time. Meanwhile, you guys take care huh!!! LOVE YA!!!

2006-02-15T20:26:00.000+08:00

Well i was at Changi General Hospital in the early morning at 8.30am yesterday!!! I was there for my Endoscopy. Where the doctors stuff the tube like camera into the mouth or ass and snap picture inside your body... but for me its by mouth and of course not sharing the same equipment.. muhahaha imagine something that is stuff into your ass then into your mouth again ?? GROSS!!! :p

Hmmm before you think of anything crazy... they fed me some stuff to numb my throat and inject anaestatic to put me to sleep first then inserting it into my mouth. So how was the feeling like...? Its like you went into a dream where something was force into your mouth. I think i did put a little struggle to it. Lol. The doctor told me it takes about 5-10mins. When i woke up, i was back to the room where i was first at. Had to stayed there for 2 hours before i can leave. Till now i still got the feeling of something in my throat.

Later that i went to apply for my studies at Temasek Poly!!!

1st : Diploma in Hospitality and Tourism Management at TP
2nd : Diploma in Leisure & Resort Management at TP
3rd : Diploma in Internet & Multimedia Development at TP
4th : Diploma in Business Management at NYP
5th : Diploma in Business Information Technology at TP

Surprising that i put B.I.T in last place since i finish my ITE with a cert in B.I.T

went back home after all this. Thats how i spent my Valentine's Day :p

and oh yes not forgetting...

Belated Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-06T00:58:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow marks a new day in navy life because i just pass out from the General Naval Training Centre (GNTC). I will be reporting back to the same place but learning something new.

My new vocation is naval material assistance (NMA) something like storeman. It will be a 3 weeks course. After this i'm not really sure where i'm going to be posted to and what my working hours are. What i hear was a 8-5 job which i really hope is it...

Hmmm anyway today worship service was FANTASTIC with Delirious. COOL!!! WONDERFUL!!! I wish they would come more often possible? :P

2006-02-03T07:30:00.000+08:00

Proverbs came up by children

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She had twenty-fivestudents in her class and she presented each child in her class the 1st half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these, keep in mind that these are first graders..... 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic! (#25)

1. Don't change horses...................... until they stop running.

2. Strike while the ................. bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before....... Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of....... termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but........ how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ................... looks dirty.

7. No news.................................. impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a.................... Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new..... math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll....... stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ............... me.

12. The pen is mightier than the .......... pigs.

13. An idle mind is ............. the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's ...... pollution.

15. Happy the bride who ............... gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ............... not much.

17. Two's company, three's ................ the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what......... you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ..... you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so bl ind as........... Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not............. spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed.................. get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you........... see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind...... get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than...... pregnant.

2006-02-01T03:52:00.000+08:00

Belated Happy Chinese New Year to all !!!

2006-01-30T14:17:00.000+08:00

Who are you in your birthday? *Accurate!*

Is your birthday day 1 of the month?

Your Life You are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in something, everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in life. Your Love You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the person. Vise versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your expression. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.

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Is your birthday day 2 of the month?

Your Life You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance for self-control problem. Your Love Your love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented with your unrequited love. Your are a romantic and loyal lover.

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Is your birthday day 3 of the month?

Your Life Although you are innocent and romantic but your expression often mislead others that you are an active, fun loving kid. Because of your double personality, it's hard for others to really know the real you. You are careful and patient. Your Love Your love is the greatest which often surprises others. No one can bring you to light when you are in love. Your confidence might lead you to the track your parents disagree.

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Is your birthday day 4 of the month?

Your Life You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid. People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around. You are cheerful and friendly. Your Love Still water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise others with your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.

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Is your birthday day 5 of the month?

Your Life Although you are on the quiet side, but you enjoy excitement and changes. Routine is something you cannot stand. Because of your extreme confidence, you hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading your own life, and you have got the gift in doing so. Your Love Nothing can stop you from making progress in your love life. Once you are in love, you feel the ownership of your lover. A third party can only makes your jealousy becomes worse.

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Is your birthday day 6 of the month?

Your Life You are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that people find you nosey. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise others. Your imagination is extremely unique. Your Love Your love life is on the smooth track because it grows from friendship. Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity bring happiness to your couple.

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Is your birthday day 7 of the month?

Your Life You are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind your extreme persistence. Your Love You have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship often progress quickly.

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Is your birthday day 8 of the month?

Your Life You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look u to your wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you. Your Love Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time you are lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.

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Is your birthday day 9 of the month?

Your Life You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow. Your Love You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children.

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Is your birthday day 10 of the month?

Your Life You are very capable. If you are a woman, you have high chance to be a renowned workingwoman. If you are a man, your path to fame and honor is near. As an innovator, you are not a good follower. You are good in implementing your imagination and share it with others. You are always well dressed. Your Love You often lose your love ones from being too jealous. You always feel like you own the person you fall in love with and that often blows your relationship.

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Is your birthday day 11 of the month?

Your Life You are gracious, elegant and prudent. People admire your qualities and some even become jealous of you. You are realistic, flexible and adaptable. You are remarkably kind and moral person. Your Love You are willing to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Your lover will always have your gentleness, care and loyalty. You will always be happy to hand around the one you love.

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Is your birthday day 12 of the month?

Your Life You are friendly, humorous and full of energy. You are open-minded and do not care for minor details. Your weak point is your hot temper. Your Love You are willing to start off in one-sided love affairs because you strongly believe that you will eventually win his/her heart. On the other hand, once you are together, you always want to do things your way, which is often the fire starter. You usually run in and out of love quickly.

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Is your birthday day 13 of the month?

Your Life You are sincere and easy going. Flattering and charming around are not your style. You care so much for freedom that often leads you to the difficult path. Because of your sincerity, most people find you easy to be around although you are sometimes too straightforward. Your Love Your gentleness, care and sincerity make you an attractive person. Eventhough you don't intend to be charming, but you naturally are, especially in the eyes of opposite sex.

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Is your birthday day 14 of the month? Your Life You are so confident that sometimes you forget about the people around you. If you have to be in one of the two teams, you will choose to be in the winning team. On the other hand, you are kind and caring but above all, you care for your own benefits. Your imagination is unique and often gets implemented shortly after it comes across. Your Love You will not get soft with the one you don't really like, no matter how hard he/she tries. But once you feel for someone you have chosen, there's no getting back.

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Is your birthday day 15 of the month?

Your Life You are outgoing and love to be at the center of attention. From the outside, you may seem flashy, flirty, and tricky but your true self is strong, full of hope to be the leader. When you fail to convince someone, you will get frustrated, and perhaps let your temper shows. Your Love You are emotional. Many can win your heart at once, but not for long. This is why you hardly win a decent relationship.

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Is your birthday day 16 of the month?

Your Life You always follow the good and the right instead of listening to your heart. Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word people say about you. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature, curious and a dreamer who is ready to get over the edge to make your dream comes true. Your Love You often fall in love with a person who is much different from you, in age and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at fist sight is not your style.

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Is your birthday day 17 of the month?

Your Life You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish and not very attractive in that sense. Your Love Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great.You often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have to choose only one.

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Is your birthday day 18 of the month?

Your Life At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around. Your Love You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.

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Is your birthday day 19 of the month?

Your Life You are great in managing everything in your life and this is how you gain respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel that you are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the wrong path. You are a free bird and want to lead your own life. Your Love You love life is rather different from others'. When you are in love, nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon after that, you will make up in a way that surprises others.

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Is your birthday day 20 of the month?

Your Life You are prudent, circumspect and take things seriously. Before you make any move, you will think of a few alternatives that might take a while. You are patient, imaginative and target oriented. You value friendship more than anything else. Your Love You usually study your partner carefully before making any move. You never demand anything beyond the natural quality of that person. Your sincerity doesn't bring excitement in your love life but it brings deeply grown relationship.

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Is your birthday day 21 of the month?

Your Life You are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much that it seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your disagreement under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours. Your Love You are quite unlucky in love. You are loved by someone you don't like while your dream man is so far away. Your love life is occasionally under turbulence. Sometimes you don't have the clear view of the guy in your heart.

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Is your birthday day 22 of the month?

Your Life You have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up to you for your capability and confidence although they find you quite stubborn. You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming individual. Your Love You hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone. Whom you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you won't let them get away without having hard time.

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Is your birthday day 23 of the month?

Your Life You never live your life in the way others want you to. You are an independent individual who loves challenges and excitement. You are ready to face with the result of your decision. You are usually the one your friends count on. Your Love Because you love excitements, you occasionally get involved in forbidden love affairs. You may fall in love with a married person and no one can stop you from making progress. You are very charming, although you might not realize it.

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Is your birthday day 24 of the month?

Your Life You are very optimistic and that's why you always enjoy life. You are gifted in entertaining others. Your friends love and trust you. You'll be the first they come to when they are in need of someone to speak their heart out. Your Love Sometimes you fall in love just because you want to be in love, not that you really like that person. You always be seen as a sweet couple but you can't really get over your love ones from past. Your partner is usually crazy about you because you are remarkably charming and romantic.

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Is your birthday day 25 of the month?

Your Life You are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal. You always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will eventually bring you success. Your Love You adore your partner as the number one priority. You value your love one more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have potential to get married young.

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Is your birthday day 26 of the month?

Your Life You are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way you choose to live. Travelling is your favorite hobby because excitement is what you are after. Your Love You will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes and goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be looking around for the next one.

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Is your birthday day 27 of the month?

Your Life You are sensitive and vulnerable. Tears often run down your cheeks even when the matter is not that bad. This might be the result from being to pessimistic. You might seem cold on the shell, but your inner self is a kind loving person. Your Love You will be elegantly dressed, no matter how casually dressed your date may be. You are emanding in love and sometimes to an unacceptable extend.

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Is your birthday day 28 of the month?

Your Life You are a capable person but you usually underestimate your own ability. This is the cause of missing numbers of opportunity to step forward. If you try to give yourself a chance, you can be successful in life. Try to see things on the bright side and you will be happier than ever. Your Love You are quite unlucky in love. The one in your arm is not the one in your heart. Your love has so many ups and downs. You often chicken out before seeing any progress in love.

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Is your birthday day 29 of the month?

Your Life You can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is not your interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You often feel tired of things and people around you. Your Love You can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking into his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of fights between you and your lover. Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.

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Is your birthday day 30 of the month?

Your Life You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun to be with. Though you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities. Your Love You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly confident which might take ages.

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Is your birthday day 31 of the month?

Your Life Your emotion is hard to predict. You can be sad this minute and happy in the next. People might find it difficult to follow your emotion and understand you. You tend to take things seriously. Your Love You take your time to study a person before falling in love. Once you decide that he or she is the one, no one can stop you from making progress, even your partner.

2006-01-11T08:17:00.000+08:00

I really want to help but I don't know how...

I'm not complaining about it but rather I feel lousy or maybe useless. Because I can't be much of help other then listening to your problem.

I seriously want to solve your problem.

2006-01-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

rain rain go away, come again at another day...

Geez been raining for the past few days. Rain and stop and rain again. Spoil the mood of going out in peace!

Anyway i'm going to start to playing utopia but not as active as i used to be. Oh ya! I changed my mobile phone line. Do sms me if you haven't got it or leave a msg in the tag.

2006-01-03T08:16:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...

What do you have in mind for the new year?

Give a thought what you really want to achieve during this new year! Althought its already the 3 day since new year :/

Since its new year, you start everything new! Better aims! Better result! Better everything!!! But for one thing for sure, is never look back into the past. Always keep moving forward. From Glory to Glory to Glory. If you don't put the past aside, you'll always be stuck with it. Don't you think so?

So everyone, let's start this new year with a BANG!!!

Ciao!!!

2006-01-01T17:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006!!!

2005-12-29T13:58:00.000+08:00

Cool i'm in!!! hehe

Just booked in a couple hours ago after clearing my remaining leaves. So what have i been doing lately?

Same old thing. Doing the same stuff everyday.

How was your Christmas? Well i spent Christmas's eve at EXPO. There was City Harvest Church service. The service was very good. Saw WANG BAO HUI my sec sch classmate going to the church service next door. Din't chat much as she was busy.

Aiya don't know what to write and don't know is it possible to blog it now? If blog it, people will read and might misunderstand. Then start spreading all over saying this and that.I should just **** it. I nv use that word ah :p Maybe i'll just start a diary by writing it down but my handwriting is lousy !!! Muhahaha thats why i blog. LoL? Whatever crap... Things just pass and go like nothing but being with LOVED ONES are the BEST! *muack*

Its better to be quiet alone. Something like what i used to be. I think i'll go into self-reflecting mode for weeks rather then day. Just think and think and think. =)

or MAYBE...

Counting down to ORD. -_-|||

Oh yar, I got duty on the EVE OF NEW YEAR!!! SIAN!!! This one really suck 2 thumb or maybe the whole hand.

Ciao and a early HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE OF YOU! Kick of the new year with a BANG ah :)

P.S Don't worry I'm OK I'm FINE !!! Don't worry about me !!!

2005-12-11T20:51:00.000+08:00

There are things in my mind that i wanted to blog down but due to some problems, i don't wish to announce to the whole world.

If i was to do that, people might start talking, spreading rumours and bleh bleh bleh. Yup, i once say i'm cool with what people said about me but i got to understand how the other people thinks. you know? understand?

The problem might seems small but somehow or rather the way i think it makes it times 10!!!

I just wish that after a sleep everything will be all right but NO! Don't worry i'm alright!! =D

Time to book in!! Ciao!! *muack*

2005-11-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

Oink Oink...

Hello guys!

Rushing rushing going back camp now!! Waiting for father to fetch!!! I'll make this a quick one.

Life in GNTC is totally different from BMT. Now is like going for classes then physical. I got into a new cabin which is facing the sea! Sea breeze early in the morning and watching the sun rise. Its really cool! But one bad point is the insects around... Well, now need to discipline to exercise on my own or i'll get FAT with the daily tea breaks and meals served everyday.

I got enlisted on 1st June 05 so ORD should be 1st June 07.

Its already 5 month and 26 days. Boy o boy sure its fast.

I got alot more in my mind to mention but the feeling is not there. Got to go now!

Weihao how many more days to POP!!?? Wish you get posted to my camp or maybe with Junhan be RP!!! =X

2005-11-21T01:19:00.000+08:00

Yes yes... i know quite some time i updated in here!!! But hey here i am!!!

A quick blog entry as i got to sleep and report back to camp tomorrow morning by 8am!!

Here are photos taken from the P.O.P and P.O.P dinner. Thx to Wanxiu for lending the camera to me if not no photos for dinner.

P.O.P Photos

Been spending alot of $$$ during this 4 days... need to control..

Events that are not blog today doesn't mean i have forgotten it for the past 4 days!!!

Really got to go now... Aunt screaming my ear soon...

2005-11-11T11:44:00.000+08:00

I'm back from CGH after the Ultrasound Scan. Scanning the stomach area. Pretty impressive!!!

Well wanted to take a off day today but my Officer said no... giving me reasons... which i thought was RUBBISH? Haha how do you expect me to feel good after my request was rejected? :p Need to report back camp before 1.30pm.

Will try update this week "event" in the next blog.

Dig all this story out from my hotmail. Enjoy reading it.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to
burn.....

A GLASS OF MILK

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way
through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his
nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked
hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then
asked, How much do I owe you?

You don't owe me anything, she replied. "Mother has taught us never to
accept pay for a kindness."

He said.....
"Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but
his faith in God and man was strong also.. He had been ready to give up and
quit.

Many years later that same young woman became critically ill. The local
doctors were baffled! They finally sent her to the big city, where they
called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name
of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he
rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at
once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her
life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for
approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill
was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take
The rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something
caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God,
that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters
comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone
you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at
least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all,
isn't that what life is all about?

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to
burn.....

HOW TO BOIL A BULLFROG?

Years ago some scientists did a simple experiment on a bullfrog. They threw a bullfrog into a container of boiling water, and the bullfrog instantly popped out of the boiling water. Next they put the bullfrog into a container of cold water. The bullfrog liked it and stayed in the container. The scientists then turned on the heat at the bottom of the container. As the water got warmer, the bullfrog relaxed and took a nap. The bullfrog was so comfortable that it stayed in the container and was "cooked".

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES

Most of us are in the "comfort zone". We have a house to go home to, a nice bed to sleep on, food in the fridge, a group of friends to mingle with, along with some basic necessities of life. We have worked hard to get to where we are now. So why should we change this? The truth is most of us are like the bullfrog, because we
feel warm and comfortable, we refuse to get out of our comfort zone, and prefer to stay where we are. In life we are either creating or disintegrating. There is no such thing as "staying where we are", because there is always movement. So if we are not moving ahead in life, we must by nature, be moving in the opposite direction.

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

"It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated... it is finished when it surrenders."

2005-11-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

10 more days to P.O.P !!!

Its drawing closer and closer. What can i say? 2 years of national service, i already spent about half a year in BMT. What a joke but i still love BMT! Seriously! Wonderful people there training us. I'm not typing this because they are reading it but its a FACT!

I should have passed out last batch. If i were to compare this and last batch. I'll definitely join last batch. To me, its really obvious where the standard is. No i'm not complain. Just have to suck thumb all the way or maybe 2 thumbs!!!

I should have just kept quiet all the time for this batch. Let them suffer, suffer and suffer. Maybe telling them so much about meeting the standard was a bad idea. Should have let them earned it the hard way. Let the Officers squeeze the standard out from them. Yes, it may seems that i sound cruel. If the Officer never told me to "watch or lead" them. I would have given up hope somewhere and let them fool around.

So what i'm an OOC nor Gold in IPPT nor passed my SOC nor anything? I din't even say the word OOC as something to pressure them. But they will say OOC big fuck ah? What i did was just telling them what can be done and what cannot be done. Is this the kind of respect i get? Personally i don't take it as a joke at all.

Oh well, i suppose not passing out with last batch was one of my regrets.

P.S. I'm not blaming anyone here. Just some thought that i was thinking about. Or maybe what i said can change you guys?

Got this whole thing from my Officer's Blog.

Quote of the day:

"In life, changing yourself works; changing others don't."

Agree with the first half but not so the other half. It's not that it doesn't work but it is a lot harder. However, we all have the power to INFLUENCE others to change, thus encouraging them to change themselves. If not, how do we qualify the need for teachers and instructors.

Talking about Influence... maybe if i got a few chocolate bars (Officer ranks) on my shoulders thats might work?

TIME TO BOOK IN!!! Will blog my last sunday sentosa outing this coming thursday night i think.. need to go for medical scanning on Friday morning..

2005-10-28T12:46:00.000+08:00

Geez got to rush !!! Booked out yesterday night because i got a medical appointment today. Right now need to rush back to camp before 1.30pm !!! Tomorrow will be booking out again :p

I suppose i'm somehow like that from the below quiz i answered. About 70% correct. What do you think? ^_^

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on educationEducation is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

What's your personality love style?

Here is the analysis:

Love at first sight is your style. You are not fussy about who you fall for, and often there seems to be no rational reason for you deciding to love someone, it just happens and you'll follow your heart. When you do fall for someone, you fall completely. Your love is somewhat child-like, or what people like to call "puppy love". While following your heart is important, you should also remember to use your head occasionally.

The five-question personality test

Here is the analysis:
Your ideal mate has a sense of humor and is lively.
You always compare yourself with others. You make your wishes too difficult to come true.
You are in despair about your lack of success. That's your attitudes towards success.
You realize that there are always ups and downs. Joy and sorrow are constant companions.
You are emotional, sincere and optimistic.

There are alot of quiz here.

2005-10-23T20:45:00.000+08:00

Wooooo!!! That BIG DAY is reaching on...

16th Novermber 2005!!!

Everyone getting pretty excited about the POP. From what i see, only 3 have not pass the minimal requirement and i'm one of them!!! Since i missed out the last IPPT test, i'm not sure when is the next one. I know i can pass it because i lack of 1 pull up.

For this whole week, we have starting attending our basic seaman course in classrooms. Its more on theory side from 8am - 5pm. After that its P.O.P rehearsal till lights out.

Nothing happen this week other that the infamous 3 magic word... FIRE FIRE FIRE. Thats right. Our very own fire drill but then again not that really a fire drill. LoL What happened was when lights out, everyone was suppose to be sleeping or no movement. But you know.. guys.. alot of craps to talk... talk till SO LOUD...

Got to rush now!!! type more when i'm back...

2005-10-18T20:50:00.000+08:00

How come i'm still at home...? Well i'll make it short and simple.

Yesterday i went back to camp to see the medical officer (MO) because i wanted him to cancel my MC for today. Today was the IPPT test... But FAT HOPE! He don't want me to take the risk of having that pain coming back or maybe i might KO halfway the IPPT test causing "earthquake" in Singapore.

Recruit Lionel KO during IPPT test when he was suppose to be on MC!!! Wooo that will be BIG NEWS.

Whatever the reason is even when you know your own body condition but rules are rules. haiz... I wanted to stay in camp but my Officer asked me to go back home. Thats why i'm here. Anyway going to book in later before 10pm. Lucky i'm living at Tampines... If i was to live at the west end area... DUH! If you still don't know where my camp is.. its at Changi Naval Base along Tanah Merah road.

So what have i been doing today...

Playing playing playing none-stop! thats all.. muhahaha

I know it sounds like no life but hello...? i'm on MC remember? Don't tell me about books.. because it will worse my condition :p

I heard from my aunt that maybe was stress that cause tha pain -.-? What stress can i have...?

*thinks*

NONE!!!

Nono wait i thought of one. Stress that i might not pass my BMT? haha that could be possible. But I Love BMT.

BMT, BMT, All the way,
We like it here, we like it here,
We found ourselves a home, a home,
A home sweet home.

Gosh i'm also having running nose... tried to catch it back but can't. Kept sneezing... salivas and germs flying around the room!!!

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire movie coming out soon on the 17th November!!!

Ok Got to go now!!! Anything just give me a BUZZ on the phone!!!

2005-10-17T13:27:00.000+08:00

Surprising to see my entry for today? Will as you read on, you'll understand why i'm at home right now.

As from today, its already the 8th week of BMT. Another 4 more week to go to the day that every recruit is looking forward to... Pass Out Parade (P.O.P)

2 event was held last week. Standard Obstacle Course (S.O.C) and 8km Route March. Finally all the main event had completed. There's one more event for myself. To pass either Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT) or Swimming Cat. 2. Once i pass either one of it, it will be confirm that i'll go on the next phrase of naval training. If not... out of course -_-

During the last IPPT trial test, i fail by 1 pull up... needed 6 to pass the whole thing...

I got another chance tomorrow. I'm going to pass it or aim for silver and make sure there are improvements. *wink*

IPPT Scoreboard

Saturday night i went to secondary school friend's chalets. I din't know there was 3 chalets going on!!! All within Downtown East. COOL!

Wanted to stay overnight but something happened... i don't know what trigger my chest pain. This was the first time since NS started.

During afternoon, the pain and uncomfortableness was there already but it got worse as the clock ticks... At 3-4am, decided to call my father and he brought me to Changi Hospital. I had check up on the chest before this. Its not related to any heart problem but rather the muscle at the lower end of the sternum.

Up to this very second, i still feel the uncomfortableness hovering around...

I got an appointment at Changi Hospital on the 28th October with the specialist.

Booking in later so i can take part in IPPT tomorrow...

2005-10-09T19:53:00.000+08:00

The feeling of coming out from camp after 11 days was just too great.

Meeting with family, friends, freedom, own time own target getting up from bed *althought i still got up at 7am++* and many more!!! Wooo!!!

If you had read the previous entry, we had our Sat and Sun LOCKED in camp due to live firing range at Nee Soon Camp. Having to eat the SAF food ration main course during last batch of BMT was already enough for me. I just can't stand the smell.

After the range day was already the 7th day passed, everyone was dieing to go out of camp. We did not have the slightest clue when we were booking out. Officers and Sgt were playing mind games with us. Heard rumours that earliest was Wed night and latest was Friday. You know how the feeling was like not knowing when was the book out day and other personal problems. More or less torturing to the mind. Maybe they(officers) got their reason for doing this but it just happened on the wrong week for me.

Every end of a week, we will get the training program schedule for each week. Sometimes slack or vice versa training schedule. Knowing if the next day program was tough, I had thoughts of reporting to medical officer(MO) just to escape the tough training and get excuses. *when i mean tough means alot of physical traininig* In SAF term means to malinger which is bad. But the malinger thought just goes off when training was approaching. Having to survive last batch BMT, why not now? If i don't push myself, who will? you will?

Sgt said "Tough training doesn't last but tough men do" which i agree with it. Understand what the phrase means?

The times we been through tough training thinking we cannot make it through but we did.

---

Thursday

First thing i got back home at Hougang was to treat my family DINNER! Well it cost me $91.10. Just a meal at the coffeeshop. Crab, prawn, fish, frog leg. *drools*

---

Saturday

Went to service with Wanxiu and the ~~terror~~ cell grp. Haha wonderful bunch of people as always. Passed the ration to Wanxiu.. wonder if she is enjoying it!!! *rofl* The pastor for the day was from Sweden. Really enjoy his preaching and all the talks. Had a good laugh.

We are more then a conquerer. Born to be a conquerer. Drive out the fear within you. Does this apply to love to...?

---

Can't wait for BMT to finish. About 38 more days to P.O.P then i'll go on a holiday!! Wanxiu, i wanna go to your grandma's fishing village!! if possible :p

1 more hour to book in...

2005-10-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

Interesting website i found, click on the links at the bottom.

Your Birthdate: March 5

With a birthday on the 5th of the month you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.

You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2005-09-25T20:05:00.000+08:00

I thought everything was going well but all it took was just one sms. Maybe just let her settle her problem on her side first.

I don't know how to carry on this friendship if she doesn't even reply back. She wanted to forget her ex. How do i know when is the time to contact or know that she is feeling better? 1 month? 1 year? or maybe meeting her one day at the street? Is that the fate she was refering to?

Yes i can give alot of care, concern, attention and love but what if she began to think i'm bothering her? won't it be worst? I'm so afraid there might be misunderstanding during smsing. I might be saying one thing and she might thing i'm saying another thing. If only we could chat thing over the phone. I'm happy to say that i'm so in love right now with her. If only she knew how i'm feeling and i know how she is feeling now or is it one sided love..? so many unanswer question.. mixed feeling emotion.

On a second thought, serving ns while being in love could be a hinder. Unable to give the mention above the fullest. It can't be help if you really love someone.

You can say i'm a greenhorn in love relationship. Its better this way then to go hurting other people feeling to gain that love experience. Right? This are just my views. There is no right or wrong answer.

What should i do? I suppose time will tell? Keeping my finger cross hoping that she'll contact me when she's better or when i contact her everything will be well.

---

Surprising that we could book out on friday. Everyone's morale was blown sky high knowing we were allowed to book out. Why? heard rumors that our Officer in Command aka OC strike lottery..? or maybe reasons at the bottom at the end of this blog entry.

Saturday morning went out to play soccer with my ITE mates at Hougang. Thats the first game since i got enlisted into NS! Calvin, Erik, Hung Poh, Aidil, Yan Song, Arul, Xinghong and myself. As usual they were late when meeting up... -_-

Decided to drop by Ang Mo Kio to see my other Aunts and cats :p Been about more then a month since i saw all of them. We got a new cat, Garfield! Handsome boy. I'll try to get its photos when i book out.

Didn't went for the church service as i was tired and wanted to stay at home. When i mention home means the 3 places i usual goes too. Tampines, Hougang and Ang Mo Kio. I heard that my OC was also from City Harvest!!! haha.

---

Was thinking about my future past few days...

if my life was like a movie, how do i like it to be? I seem pretty lost. I don't want to spend my 2 years of NS just like that. I want to do something more! More meaningful and more advantageous. I want my life to be colourful !!! but i'm being tie down by time.

Bleh!!! I won't be around for 2 weeks... Going for live firing range on the next weekend 1st and 2nd October. Will be back on 8th October or maybe 6th... depends on the Officer. It'll be like a 2 weeks confinement.

1 hour more to book in...

2005-09-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

I'm soooo tired but i had fun going out!!!

Anyway i'm looking for piano and drumming teacher because i wanna learn to play it!!! Haha hard to believe huh? But its for REAL!

Had anyone tried mobile blogging yet? I'm not sure if it works within Singapore. Sometimes in camp i got the urge to blog... and by the time i got back home that type of feeling is not there. Understand?

Got to get ready for book in soon... *cries*

2005-09-11T20:09:00.000+08:00

How should i start...?

Hmmm if you were to scroll down to when i started blogging on national service its also about the same. BUT this time the training has gone TOUGHER. Much tougher then the previous batch.

Only the second day, the new recruits already got *screwed* by the sgts. I was the IC aka in charge of the platoon for the first week. Having 44 men under me, the feeling was pretty cool. There were good and bad point being IC. For me, importance of the an IC is to make sure all my men are accountable for whatever activies we do and having to make sure they don't get punish or "screwed" by any of the Sgts or Officers.

As a out of course recruit, they had TONS OF QUESTIONS to ask me... Sometimes i don't really want to tell them because i'll spoilt the "fun" if they know whats going on and its not as though the Sgts or Officers will tell me everything.

One popular question they like to ask me is... what is the next day training program.. WHAT THE....? Can't they see that i'm also training together with them instead of being inside the office? BLEH!

What i could share with them was how to be able to last the 12 weeks BMT course. Alway look forward to a brand new day instead of complaning this and that. Time will pass faster this way.

Looking at how they train, reminds of me when i joined on 1st June. Can't even do a standard pumping, do a single pull up and many other stuff. Sometime causing the platoon to do extra punishment or should i say extra physical training because i couldn't endure the pain or was exhausted to carry on. Whenever do we training, its always one for all, all for one. Meaning we got to think for the others instead of ourself. 1 suffer all suffer together or 1 enjoy all enjoy together. Understand? I could always hear my platoon mates encouraging one and another to endure and pushing ourselves to the limit!!!

But now its a different thing!!! I could do this do that. Thats why i agree with this phrase "The best form of welfare is tough training" I'm putting what i had learned into this current batch. Shouting and shouting encourging them to endure!!! Thats why you can hear my sexy hoarse voice. Muhahaha.

I suppose there is also a price to pay. I hurt my left knee 3 weeks ago and it was an old injury. Till now i still feel the strain on the left knee even when i'm relaxing. Grrr...

On friday, met a interesting friend from Boon Keng Primary School, Geraldine and her friend for dinner. Everyone was so shy, just smile smile only. Muhahaha Talked about how the school was although she was not my classmate. haha

Saturday as usual went to church with Wanxiu. She was re-baptism in water. Had to soak the whole body into the body.. hmm interesting. is it to clean away the sins or can anyone explain to me? maybe should ask her to bring a oxygen tank in so can clean the sins longer for disturbing me! =X

As for today, i went to another church! Just to look around. Angela brought me to this neighbourhood church along bradell road. Its small compare to City Harvest Church. Well can't stay long there as i got to get my book in stuff ready.

1 more HOUR TO BOOK IN !!!

Got this from my email

One Of These Days

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This," he said, "isn't any ordinary package."He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it." He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said, "Never save something for a special occasion. Everyday in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and cleanless. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and"One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters that I wanted to write.

"One of these days" - I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not enough time at least, how much I love them. Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.

2005-08-24T18:43:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i did a self reflection on how i'm doing right now. I wish to reflect now but no time! It's always no time. Maybe i got poor time managment or booking out time is too short. Bleh! Excuses, excuses and more excuses.

Anyway the new bmt intake starts tomorrow. No longer excited like the first time. Knowing what i have to go through again. But at least there is ARUL to go through the 2 weeks confinement with me. Hehe. So We'll be back on 10th September.

2005-08-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

A Lesson In Life

A group of working adults got together to visit their University lecturer. The Lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment Of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain lookingand some looked rather expensive and exquisite.

The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for themselves.
When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up,leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we unconsciously went for the better cups." "Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.

They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change." "If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste the water in it."

2005-08-21T21:00:00.000+08:00

Here are some photos from P.O.P *cheers*

the only odd one in no. 4

platoon 1 section 4 2005

care for second round anyone?

Ayway back to where i last stop last Sunday...

I'm still curious why or how they can get so "into" it. The way they react to the songs and the speeches made by the pastor. Can they really feel that God or Jesus is there? During ministering, the pastor blessed the cell group leaders. After a touch from the pastor, they fell back one by one. To me its like they got hit on the head and faint instantly. Some faint rather dramatically. Can they not faint?

Being a free thinker, i'm just really curious. No offense to anyone though.

Monday

At night i was complaining to myself whats the handphone for if myself don't call out instead of waiting for others to call me. The problem lies with myself. When you call someone, usually there is a reason right? Can't be just saying Hi, how are you and put down the phone. You need topics to carry on with the conversion. Out of the blue, i don't know what topics to start on or just lame talking. Thats why i prefer smsing. Having able to thinking and what you're going to talk about before sending. At least it does make sense to me. Instead of talking aimlessly and crapping right or am i wrong?

Tuesday

I LOST MY MOBILE EARLY IN THE MORNING!!!

Is this what you get if you complain about something...? GEEEZ I drop somewhere and its gone within 15min when i went back to look for it. Don't worry i did not panic or cry :p Just report to my officer thats all. It was my fault that i dropped it so no big deal but my campmates were like more nervous then me. Telling me that if it was them, they'll go crazy bleh bleh bleh... Since its already lost, no use turning heaven into hell. Hows life without a phone? Hmm even its there is a public phone... i don't think i'll call anyone because all the contact are stored inside the mobile. I can only rememeber my house's number and aunts. THATS ALL! not even my parents mobile... likes look i need to memorise numbers.

Sunday

Today was the last day for 2nd Annual Skydive Festival Singapore. I wanted to join in and try it but my aunt say was too expensive and dangerous since it was the 2nd time it held the event here. Need to pay $499!!! I suppose it was worth it? Where in Singapore can you do that!!! Usually you need to travel overseas to do those. What a waste... arghhh

Anway i got a new mobile now and its the same number but all the contacts are gone. Can you guys sms me your name to the same old number. Thx a million!

Before i forgot, I'll be back on 10 september 2005. As the new batch of trainee will start BMT on 25th and i'll join them. There will be a automatic of 2 weeks confinement so see you guys then...

A countdown for Arul.

4 MORE DAYS

Think of the have-nots and stop complaining

TODAY before you think of saying an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your spouse, think of someone who's crying out for a companion

Before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children, think of someone who can't have any.

Before you argue about your dirty house, think of the people who are living on the street.

Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who has to walk.

And when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed and those who wish they had your job.

When depressing thoughts pull you down, put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive.

Life is a gift, live it, enjoy it, celebrate it.

2005-08-14T21:45:00.000+08:00

Sorry due to time constrain, i was unable to post on Singapore National Day that was on Tuesday.

Anyway i'm back to bring the latest happening news! Been rather a busy week.

Sunday

Last Sunday morning i was invited by Wan Xiu to attend City Harvest Church 16th anniversary at National Indoor Stadium. The place was fully packed with worshippers. It was better then Jay Chou's concert. *rofl* Althought it was free but people came early in the morning to queue for sits. There were overseas singers. The place was ROCKING when they were singing and praising Jesus. The songs were nice and meaningful. I bought the Cross CD. Met Wan Xiu's ~~terror~~ cell group members. Hehe interesting people and had lunch with them before heading home to get ready for book in...

I learned something from the preaching.

A man without a vision will always go back to his past.

Understand?

Wednesday

Wednesday was the day all my campmates was looking forward to!!!

PASS-OUT-PARADE DAY

Oh yes i was told to recourse because i missed out important lessons while i was having chickenpox. Since i was out of course (ooc) with 3 more others. We were the helpers for that day and the day before. We had to put the decorations, lay out the food, guard the weapons and their belonging bleh bleh bleh. Pretty busy. I was told to guard the weapon and their belonging means i'll be away from the parada square. I MISSED out all the actions that was happening at the parada square. Only at the last march in, i was out. Guys in no. 3 look damm smart.

At night, the whole company went for dinner at Ritz Carlton hotel. Fabulous food especially the desserts.

Will show the photos next week. Need some editing.

The next few days i had to spent my days as usual in camp till the next batch of BMT guys join in. ARUL IS IN THE NEXT BATCH!!!

Welcome to HELL

ARUL

Saturday

Have you guys tried swmming at 6am everyday? Geez just tried today. COLD The following week i'll be doing that... ZHAI LEH haha

Met Wan Xiu and her cell group members at Boon Lay. City Harvest Church HQ was there. Nice environment and place. The place was something like a mini concert. To me, it seems that they were in a trance or something when they sing. I was observing people infront of me. How they move, the way and their expression when they sing. Hmmm

I got more to type. Maybe i'll forget it by then. Got to go now!!! Booking in at 11pm.

2005-08-04T03:11:00.000+08:00

Amazing !!! Almost a month i did not blog. *tsk tsk*

Blogging used to be almost a daily affair for me but now its more based on my mood not laziness. Given only Saturday and Sunday after booking out roughly 30 hours of free time, its rather hard to get into the right frame of mind.

There are certain requirements before i start blogging;

Blogging usually begins at night because its too bright in the afternoon and quieter at night.

Listening to slow instrument song to get into the right mood and concentrate.

Doesn't wished to be peep at when typing blog.

Rubbish? Nah its just me.

Was going through all my fellow blogger's blog. Some had stop, some had continued and some just started from where they last stop few months ago. I see that everyone is doing not bad. Saw a couple of mushy mushy tag missing their boyfriend whom are serving their NS. Of course i'm jealous. Hahaha.

Arul and Weihao waiting to be sent into NS. 25 August and 9 September respectively. Junhan just got back from a 5 day outfield. Wonderful food ration huh Junhan? Arul will be joining the Navy. Yay got someone to disturb !!!

Right now i'm on the road to recovering from chickenpox. Of all the years, why must it land when i'm serving NS? Basic Military Training (BMT) is a 10 weeks course which i'm in now. I got it on the 8th week. Couple weeks more to Pass Out Parade (POP) where love ones will watch you march into the parade square. After that they will help you don the baret as a sign of completing BMT. During this 2 weeks, i missed out important lessons so chances of me having to recourse is HIGH, means to go throught the 10 weeks of BMT again... the feeling of recourse is damm sad. Watching your campmates moving to the next stage of NS but i getting "retain". Not that i really mind but its the going through the same old shit again. (there's a Navy song with that sentences same old shit again)

Left Toe Right Toe

left toe right toe keep up the tempo
left toe right toe ayoayo ah
here we go again
same old shit again
up and down this avenue
few more days to book out day
book out, book out, book out day
any sweat?
no sweat
chicken feet
haha all the way

I remember only 2 song because for this is the song we need to sing when we book out althought i miss out a couple of lines. Another song is usually sang when we march on the spot. Eh forgotten whats the malay command to march on the spot... any idea?

We Shall Not Be Move

we shall not be move,
we shall not be move,
we from navy,
we shall not be move
just like the tree standing by the waterfront,
bmt, bmt, all the way
we like it here, we like it here
we found ourselves a home, a home, a home sweet home.

All the command given starts on the left foot so is the song. After finishing this song, we are suppose to bang the right boot together as one. A very soild bang, one sound only. After weeks of training, if the platoon can bang together as one, you can feel that the platoon achieved something. Thats how i feel. The fruit of labour.

Let me recall what i did...

Firing Range

How long does it take from one end of Singapore to the other end by bus? Changi to Tuas? Geez thats the best time to GET YOUR SLEEP in the AIR-CON BUS BACK AND FRO for three days and one for dry practise. *cheers* What more can you ask for? Good welfare. Haha. The range was somewhere around Tuas or is it not Tuas? Arghh given time to sleep who cares where are we going... You don't get many chances of sleeping while in camp.

Back to the range. Kinda exciting. We were shooting from a distance of 100m. There were day and night shooting means we were there for two whole day having to go back camp late at night and coming back in the morning!!! We had to wear no. 4 long sleeve with Standard Battle Order (SBO) *where you put your ammo cargitch, 2 water bottle, rope, rifle cleaning kit and poncho* and our "wife" AR 15 rifle. This are the postion we are suppose to shoot in. Sitting, standing, prone with support and prone without support. The recoil from the rifle is not hard. Its the firing sound from your neighbour makes you lose concentration. ITS LOUD even with ear plugs on.

During the night shoot, we were given red headed bullets. What it does is when you fire there's a red beam shooting towards where you're shooting. Just like Starwar fighter jets. At night, you can see the different lane shooting red beam out. A nice sight.

Standard Obstacle Course (SOC)

There's one week consist of SOC only from morning to noon. Whats SOC? We had to pass 11 obstacle course at a given time. Within 10min 29 sec and passing all the stations. We had to run 600m then do the 11 stations and then run another 700m ot complete it. The 11 station was no easy task. The first 5-6 station depends on the upper body and the rest on the lower body. I suppose this is where you can get injury easily even if you know the safety rules. Any mislanding from the station might sprain your ankle or worse still hurt your spine. So take care my fellow friends when you're doing this.

Route March

I completed my 4 and 8 km route march. I tell you DAMM SHIOK!!! Carrying Full Battle Order. (FBO) It includes the SBO, a field pack (something like a backpack) and rifle.

Ok Let's see what does it contain inside !?

Field pack consists of 5 1.5 litre of water bottle filled with water. NO water bubble MUST be seen in it.

SBO consists of 2 full 1 litre water bottle for drinking, rope, poncho, cleaning kit, 4 sand can fill to the brim. When shake it must NOT have sound. (there a trick to prevent sound from coming out)

No. 4 long sleeves, helmet and rifle sling onto neck.

Actually we din't really march but walk in 2 single rows. When we walk, we follow the Platoon Commander's(PC) pace and it during the afternoon under the hot sun. The front men following the PC or the men behind you HAS to keep up if not there's a big gap between. When the PC blow the whistle, everyone has to touch the person's field pack infront of him. If there's gaps, that means you have to run to touch the field pack. Walking and running will cause you to be more tire. Thats the reason why we need to sing during route march. Instead of thinking you're tire and the heavy load, it helps you to think of the singing only. We had to sing all the way till the route march ends so imagine everyones voice by then. All have the soreness on the throat, sometime when you speak no sound coming out. Happened on me!

So guys KEEP up the pace or you'll have to come back again for the route march if you fall out. *thats for the Navy, the rest i'm not sure* Oh yes, if you can handle more weights then you're carrying, go help a soldier thatis in need of help by carrying some of his stuff. I did that so can you.

After the 8km, that was the last time we were going to wear No. 4 again expect for lunch time. When we came back, we had to sing the song "we shall not be move". Marching on the spot singing LOUD *remember the sore on the throat and now this -.-* and banging the boot together. Will, it was not up to perfect but near perfect. Everyone was drenched including the stuff we were carrying soaking with sweat.

The emtional level was high !!! A pround moment to everyone who had completed the route march. From here, what i can see was the fighting spirit, discipline, care for soldiers, and having to endurance all this. Good job guys, we did it!!!

Enjoy reading... i wish i could add photos to it but we are not allowed to bring in camera in. The view at changi naval headquarter is really wonderful. Maybe when i pass out parada that time i'll invite those who wanna come. Nice sea view and sea breeze. Simply love it !!! *cheers*

2005-07-04T17:36:00.000+08:00

Actually there ain't much to write about in camp. Everyday is just another physical training day.

They (officers) like to do "stuns". Out of the blue, adding extra training and other "interesting stuff". Most of the time at night you can't sleep in peace. Some sergeants like to spread rumor about having fire drill at the wee hours. Trust me, you don't wish to have any of it.

I can't really say that the training is tough. It depends on yourself. For me, i find it ok. Weeks after weeks, you'll get used to it. Now its already the 5-6 weeks already. About 4-5 weeks more to finish BMT. Mind you, if you don't meet the requirement for BMT, you'll have to re-course the 10 weeks BMT again. I hvae this feeling that i might re-course -_- BLEH

Gosh it's a MONDAY. Why am i at home? Well... i got a two day MC. Later at night have to report back to camp at 8.30pm

2005-06-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

Hiya peeps!

After being in camp for 18 days, how are you guys getting on? Fine? As in sometimes good and bad? There are ups and downs in life but hey learn to cope it and i'm sure you guys will find a way out. There is always a way out. If life is simple and easy, it will be boring. Thats why there are problems for you to think and solve! Like i said in the other previous post. Live and never regret the choices you made *cheers*

Ok i'll stop nagging here but i'll serious what i had said. Read twice triple and so on to understand what i meant. If you still don't understand CALL ME! Haha. I'll explain step by step.

Yes Sir,
No Sir,
Yes Platoon Sergeant,
No Platoon Sergeant,
Yes Sergeant,
No Sergeant,

This are sentences that are used EVERYDAY and EVERYTIME without fail. Because you can't possible go and smack the Sir's shoulder and say "hey what activites we have for today?" DUH!

So.. what i had been doing in camp. Training and training thats all i can say. Sore all over the body but as time goes by i slowly began to get used to it. I can't say the training is tough. Maybe its just the beginning? I can't go into detail on whats' happening inside as we are bond to keep our mouth shut incase we blah out wrong information.

At times i wanted to give up because of the intensive training. Imagine after many rounds of push up, chin up aka pulll up, sit up and alot more. You can see the hand shivering, blister forming on the hand, cramps and sweating non-stop. You never see me sweat like this outside before. You can hide but you can't run away from this for 10 weeks. Thats what i told myself.
Inside you have to be punctual, have endurance, discipline and others but this 3 are my core value. This will help you get punish lesser.

I tried to write everyday in my diary but due to the time constrain its IMPOSSIBLE!!! Hardly anytime left. Everyone rushing to the toliet to bath after a long tired day. Its not a open toliet where you can see each other naked and pick up soap!!! So get this straight into your head first. Most of the time are use for queuing for bath and washing clothes... so tell me how to find that EXTRA TIME to write!

Everyday wakes up at 5.30am and light outs at 10.30pm. Another 8 weeks more till BMT is over BUT if you fail BMT you have to RE-COURSE means another 10 weeks of BMT. People finish NS for 2 years but you'll add another 10 weeks. Another thing is the pay. All NS guys will get the fixed amount whether you're in army or navy or air force unless you sign on thats another thing.

Everyone was pretty excitied today in camp because it was BOOK OUT DAY! Everyone was fast when told to do anything. Haha. Deep down me i wasn't that much excited about booking out. Just the normal feeling. I was thinking what i should blog instead. We were transported to Tanah Merah MRT our drop off point. When i saw the first TRAFFIC LIGHT, MRT TRAIN, BUS STOP and blah blah blah... LAME.

Tomorrow i will have to report back to Tanah Merah Mrt at 9pm to book in. Time sure pass faster then i expected.

2005-06-01T02:15:00.000+08:00

Woooo 6 more hours to NS !!!

By the time you guys read this blog, I might be inside camp kena tekan or something. I need to thanks the guys and gals who had accompany me the past few days. Those in msn whose i pested with those gay stuff and from Utopia ToH. Hey its only 2 week i'll be inside.. then Sat and Sun i'll be OUT!!! not as i'm going to die inside even if so let it be !!! I'll sms EVERYONE when i'm out nono i should say if i come out alive. LOL

Damm i'm feeling pretty excited going in. Zann said i was like pervert so enthusiastic to go into NS. Haha. Seriously, maybe i got a strong liking to serve the nation. Wan Xiu said that MORE SHIPS WILL SINK... Baohui said there will be WORLD PEACE while i'm inside. LOL funny jokes. *shivers in cold*

So what's my plan for now...

I'll see how it goes inside. Then decide whether to sign on and continue studying or just study till i get a degree or something and then join in. Because i don't believe in staying at the same rank or position. Give your best shot in everything you do. Being the best of the best. At least i know i did tried. I know its all talk for now but mark my words. muhahaha what big dreams i have... I wanna see how NS will turn Lionel into... see how much i change during my "holiday" in NS. So if you notice any changes do tell me!!! *rofl*

Love every single one of you!!!
(Love not as in BGR aka boy girl relationship another type of Love) LOL!

2005-05-30T03:30:00.000+08:00

Finally back blogging.. this could be the last entry before i enter or serve National Service aka NS !!!

Don't know why some guys dislike joining NS but i'm opposite. Damm excited !!! Looking forward to the new challenges ahead, new batch of friends, learn new stuff, SHAVING OF HEAD TOGETHER etc... *cheers*

There are the photos from Chalet !!!

Organiser for chalet, Zann and Weihao
A ciggie a day keeps the doctor coming for you! Smoke less guys and gals.

King of Mafia was there, Kumara

Seven little dwarfs and where is the princess? I was the prince taking photos :p

Semi-nude MEN not boys. Zann enjoying the show... *rofl*

Eh... sun tanning don't disturb leh. Fat boy using the sun to slim down. Muhahaha

Horhor gambling... kena caught by Lionel !!! Junhan don't hide your face !!! The rest calling for $$ to be send to them. All rich sons and daughter.

Xinghong counting the losses and profit for that night.

Some guys i mixed around with... From left Calvin, Kumara, Aidil, Arul, Fairul. Any gals or "guys" want the number of the guys?

Watching The Champions League Final. The downfall of Milan !@#$!@#
Will i was supporting Milan... Leading 3 goals at 1st half... never did i expect Liverpool to fight back to draw 3-3 at 2nd half!!! I thought i was having a bad nighmare but it was for REAL. Liverpool won on penalties...

Another chalet but i was not there.. sorry Nisa *2nd from right* i thought Don's chalet was nearby only i could just pop by...

Do view Junhan's blog for his version of the chalet :p

2005-05-25T05:45:00.000+08:00

A much anticipated blog entry i'm looking forward to. Mainly regarding the end of a chapter in ITE life. i haven't planned in advanced what i'm going to type but will go with the flow as i think back.

When i was posted to ITE with the result slip on my hand. I was like alone, scared, not sure what course to take and the guys i hanged around with, went into poly... mostly into Temasek Polytechnic. Very blur at that time and was pointless to talk to my parent or aunt because they know nuts about the school system. Lucky i had this mentor from sec sch, Miss Ng. She was the one who advised me what to do. She led me out from the dark and till now we still kept in contact. I had already expected to land into ITE and had no regret to it. I had 6 subjects. I dropped art and my chinese was hopeless so with 4 subject it was impossible to go for a course i like in poly. In the end, i failed all but just passed math. Duh?

Pretty amazing how 2 years had passed. Learning new stuff, knowing new friends and others. I still remembered during the school orientation, the school council (SC) prepared some games to make each of us know our classmates name. *my first thought was that the game was so lame but hey it was NOT after overcoming the shyness* yesh yesh laugh all you want about Lionel being shy but don't let me find out... muhahaha. At first those name were like foreign language, hard time remembering it because its not like names you always come about with.

Let me see... the first stall i went to was.. Tutti Fruitti. I ordered watermelon juice.. damm lousy!! and mine you the items pricing (Tutti Fruitti) was expensive.. just like outside stall pricing!!!

The first group i hanged or sit around was with Don and Edmund. Eh.. but sadly wrong frequency... don't click. I forgot how i managed to infiltrate into Arul and gang. Is it because of the soccer? or is it me, the Lionel factor!! haha

We got Hasbi as our form teacher. *no more mr because he is out of ITE and so am i !!!* Hasbi likes to do thing as a whole. Some might argue that he was not a good teacher. SOMETIMES only. Like to make us do weird stuff. Buddy calling system... you and your buddy must not be late for class. If you're late, your buddy gets late for attendance also. The most famous "Talk cock session" (TCS) almost EVERY LESSON. Hardly any quality teaching time spent. What i felt was that he was trying to create a bond. A very strong bond that can last even after we finish ITE but it did not work that way after he left. Hasbi left us and joined the new campus and then quit teaching and further his studies during our 2nd year. LoL I'm not saying David did a bad job. His method was way much different from Hasbi. David approach was you make thing easy for him, he'll try his best to make it as simple for you.

Pretty sad how last friday ended after the final exam because that was the last meeting we'll going to see some of them. Everyone left one by one after the time was up. There was no like a little gathering with each other. I mean don't they really mind not seeing each other in further after spending almost 2 years together as a classmate? Partly my fault because i did not approach them. Maybe they are still shy? or bears a personal grudge? or we are just Hi/Bye friends? or what other reasond? For me i was not sure what to do. I was more a waiter then a starter. Waiter means having for people to start first before joining in. Is it me that i'm trying to make myself into a diffcult position thinking of such stuff? Do they bother about this or am i the only one? For me i thought things could end with a BANG. Leaving sweet memories behind but no.

After knowing Weihao, he makes me feel like to take thing easy. Don't take thing too seriously. Chill man. I did tried not to bother other stuff rather then my own but deep down i still question. Why is it like that.. bleh bleh bleh. Not to forget Arul , Aidil, Calvin, Xinghong and Junhan. They too got their own ways.

Its 5.30am now... SLEEPY!!! Wanted to have my views on the class chalet. To date only less then half is confirm coming. Reasons? TONS OF IT... Keep telling myself not to bother with how the turn out is. Let's see how it goes later. If not staying overnight.. at least come for the gathering.

So i'll be back on Friday...

Oh ya its confirm i'm be joining the NAVY on the 1st June. *cheers* i don't know how to swim. muhahaha and so nice of junhan he offered to "teach" me to swim during chalet... -.- i sense evil feeling lurking... BEWARE

2005-05-21T01:26:00.000+08:00

Contentment

What does this above word mean to you? I got this email from my Aunt.

Have you ever, at any one time, had the feeling that life is bad real bad, and you wish you were in another situation? You find life make things difficult for you, work sucks, life sucks, everything seems to go wrong...

Read the following story... it may change your views about life:

After a conversation with one of my friends, he told me despite taking 2 jobs, he brings back barely above 1K per month, he is happy as he is. I wonder how he can be as happy as he is considering he has to skimp his life with the low pay to support a pair of old parents, in-laws, a wife, 2 daughters and the many bills of a household. He explained that it was through one incident that he saw in India...that happened a few years ago when he was really feeling low and touring India after a major setback.

He said that right in front of his very eyes he saw an Indian mother chop off her child's right hand with a chopper. The helplessness in the mother's eyes, the scream of pain from the innocent 4- year-old child haunted him until today. You may ask why did the mother do so; had the child been naughty, had the child's hand been infected?? No, it was done for two simple words- - -TO BEG!

The desperate mother deliberately caused the child to be handicapped so that the child could go out to the streets to beg. Taken aback by the scene, he dropped a piece of bread he was eating half-way. And almost instantly, a flock of 5 or 6 children swamped towards this small piece of bread which was covered with sand, robbing bits from one another. The natural reaction of hunger. Stricken by the happenings, he instructed his guide to drive him to the nearest bakery. He arrived at two bakeries and bought every single loaf of bread he found in the bakeries. The owner was dumbfounded but willingly sold everything. He spent less than $100 to obtain about 400 loaves of bread (this is less than $0.25 per loaf) and spent another $100 to get daily necessities. Off he went in the truck full of bread into the streets. As he distributed the bread and necessities to the children (mostly handicapped) and a few adults, he received cheers and bows from these unfortunate. For the first time in his life he wondered how people can give up their dignity for a loaf of bread which cost less than $0.25.

He began to tell himself how fortunate he is. How fortunate he is to be able to have a complete body, have a job, have a family, have the chance to complain what food is nice and what isn't nice, have the chance to be clothed, have the many things that these people in front of him are deprived of... Now I begin to think and feel it, too! Was my life really that bad? Perhaps... no, I should not feel bad at all... What about you? Maybe the next time you think you are, think about the child who lost one hand to beg on the streets.

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how much you already have." When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

"True love knows no fear. If you believe in something beautiful, then it is always worth the risk. For only those who are brave enough to risk getting hurt are the only ones who find their true destiny. Those who are afraid of what love brings never find it, and only those who are not afraid of getting hurt are the ones who keep it."

---

We Never Told Him He Couldn't Do It

I got this email from David Lee. What it says is truth...

It's amazing what we can achieve, if only people would stop telling us we can't. The power of negativity cannot be underestimated. Seemingly harmlesscomments like "Are you sure you can do it?", "No, I don't think it willwork", "You'll never be able to do that!" can be very debilitating, especially to a child.

Today's story, by Kathy Lamancusa, illustrates the things that are possibleif only we don't stifle them with our negativity and pessimism.My son Joey was born with club feet. The doctors assured us that withtreatment he would be able to walk normally - but would never run very well.

The first three years of his life were spent in surgery, casts and braces. By the time he was eight, you wouldn't know he had a problem when you saw him walk.The children in our neighborhood ran around as most children do during play, and Joey would jump right in and run and play, too. We never told him that he probably wouldn't be able to run as well as the other children. So he didn't know. In seventh grade he decided to go out for the cross-country team. Everyday he trained with the team. He worked harder and ran more than any of the others - perhaps he sensed that the abilities that seemed to come naturallyto so many others did not come naturally to him.

Although the entire team runs, only the top seven runners have the potential to score points for the school. We didn't tell him he probably would never make the team, so he didn't know.He continued to run four to five miles a day, every day - even the day he had a 103-degree fever. I was worried, so I went to look for him after school. I found him running all alone. I asked him how he felt. "Okay," he said. He had two more miles to go. The sweat ran down his face and his eyes were glassy from his fever. Yet he looked straight ahead and kept running. We never told him he couldn't run four miles with a 103-degree fever. So he didn't know.

Two weeks later, the names of the team runners were called. Joey was number six on the list. Joey had made the team. He was in seventh grade - the other six team members were all eighth-graders. We never told him he shouldn't expect to make the team. We never told him he couldn't do it. Wenever told him he couldn't do it...so he didn't know. He just did it.

A true story written by Kathy Lamancusa. Sometimes we can succeed purely because we didn't know we could fail.

---

Saw this 2 funny and lame poem...

Haggard i look, said by some
All things can't seem to be overcome
Lord, i ask y i so cham
I should believe things go and come

No longer go to pasar malam
Cos wallet also become kang kang
Yoshinoya i had for mum mum
But gastric until i diam diam

---

Bo liao my poem as it seem
I see also i gek sim
The light in my life is just a dim
life not sweet like pudding

Ulcers hurt till mouth tia
now i lose appetite sia
when can i ever eat mee siam
wait long long till i long pia

2005-05-18T22:09:00.000+08:00

Just can't resist the temptation to blog. What shall i talk about today... yesh i know exam is tomorrow but hey i need a break because i'll feel sleepy when i look at the notes... *yar i know its a lame reason but its true*

Tried to change a new lay-out but can't find any suitable blogskin. Mostly everything at Blogskin are love theme or not to my liking.

As you older, you grow "maybe" more mature. Noticing the changes around you and within you. The word to use here is ADAPT. Having to adapt to changes. This can only be learned by yourself. Having to face the good and bad times.

I shamelessly copied this from Weihao's blog but edited some.

I need a girl to let me cuddle to sleep,I need a girl to let me spill out my troubles, I need a girl who can comfort me when I am down,I need a girl to make me feel happy,I need a girl I need a girl,I need a girl to walk with me.

Will you be the one ?

P.S.: This blog is just NOT a typing excercise. LoL

Geez why am i typing this on the eve of exam... *bangs wall*

"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

[in the background]
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah
[softly]
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

2005-05-16T16:11:00.000+08:00

I won't be blogging this few days till my exam is over...

Thursday - FMK - 1pm-3pm
Friday - ERP - 8.30am-10.30am

Meanwhile, recent newspaper acticles caught my attention.

May 15th Sunday Times. Under Section Gen Y "Blog No Evil"

Libel laws and angry readers make bloggers regret their online rants.

May 15th The New Paper on Sunday "Teen Virginty" and "Better Clothes Better Marriages" She also wrote a book "The truth about marriage"

Whats the Book about?

Marry for love, by all means. But do not jump into it.
There can't be two "bosses" in a relationship. Learn to compromise.
Marry for the right reasons, not because you think your time is running out or all your friends are married.
It is your intention, not luck, that determines the success of your marriage.

Geez i'm going to get my hand on that BOOK!

May 16th The Straits Times On Monday "Lawyers losing interest in crime cases"

Alright back to studies...

*there was no link for Straits Times because you need to PAY to read them online*

2005-05-12T23:18:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we managed to qualify for next round for Inter-Clementi ITE soccer. Surprising huh? I won't be going into detail about it since i did not score goals. Muhahaha...

Pamper myself to a movie, Kingdom Of Heaven. During the first 15min, i was SLEEPING i mean dozing off. Seriously i was so tired after the game even though i had a bath to freshen up. Alot of talking, blood spilling out and dead bodies... and i still don't understand the movie. Two and a half hours show...

-----

Today was supposed to be the next round of match but at Clementi, it was raining heavily. Lucky I called Arul or else a wasted trip to school for nothing!!!

I got a interesting call from CMPB. I was offered to join the NAVY for NS. Means i can chose NAVY or ARMY!!! Told you guys i was special. *rofl* NAVY's NS starts on 1st June and ARMY's starts on 13th June. They expect me to give my answer by tomorrow. Hmmm... *junhan still waiting by the side of your phone?* *wink*

To ALL Fellow KM's students,

If you're reading this. You guys are invited to a Chalet at Paris Ris Costal Sand on the 25th - 27th June. There will be a buffet on the 25th. Everyone is highly encouraged to come. Confirm with me on the 20th and pass me $15-20 for it. I'll do the calculation IF there is extra left i'll refund you back. Once $$ has passed to me and you want to back out sorry to say no refund unless a vaild reason is given. *rofl*

Lastly...

Don't ask me who the organiser is. You're there to enjoy not to know this and that :p

Don't tell me you got no $$ cos i'm going to fuck your ass. 1 week from now is enough for you to save up.

If you are having problems to get that amount, private msg me sms or msn or email?. I'll see what can be done.

Let this be a KICK ASS PARTY and let no personal grudge come between any of us.

If you have any more question, feel free to ask me. I'm more then willing to answer you. \m/

2005-05-11T02:46:00.000+08:00

What a lovely song :p I got a new version on the song more lively. Which girl want me to sing to her? *smack head*

All I Have To Do Is Dream - The Everly Brothers

Dream dream dream dream dream dream dream
When I want you
In my arms
When I want you
And all your charms
Whenever I want you all I have to do is dream...

When I feel blue
In the night
And I need you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you
All I have to do is dream...

I can make you mine
Taste your lips of wine
Any time
Night or day
Only trouble is
Gee whiz
I'm dreamin my life away

I need you so
That I could die
I love you so
And that is why
Whenever I want you all I have to do is dream...

I can make you mine
Taste your lips of wine
Any time
Night or day
Only trouble is
Gee whiz
I'm dreamin my life away

I need you so
That I could die
I love you so
And that is why
Whenever I want you all I have to do is dream..

2005-05-10T14:59:00.000+08:00

Two days ago was the funeral of Mr Wee Kim Wee, Singapore ex-president. It was shown on television. There were speeches made by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, Mr Wee's family member and others. *I did not finish watching it*

.
Yesterday, I bought this book Glimpses and Reflections. Wanted to know what a person he was. Managed to finished reading this book at 5am this morning. A very simple book to read. The book was about his extraordinary and fulfilling life.

There are some topic worth thinking about. Like Money, Borrowing to live, Making friends, Filial Piety, Travel and food, God and religion. You'll know what i'm talking after reading this book.

There are interesting quotes about life. Below are some of it...

Every human being who aspires to have a full life has to work hard.

It is that those who are going to make marriage vows - no matter what form they take - should think seriously about what they mean. Vows are made to be kept and one's word is one's bond.

Cannot expect people to be nice, accommodating and pleasant, when you do not behave likewise to begin with. That is to say, "you reap what you sow." If you offer a cold front, you will be dropped like a hot brick.

Sir Song Ong Siang was a venerable community leader. He posed this question to 20 youthful members (including Mr Wee) "If you have just one wish what would you acquire or possess?" A few responded for wealth, health, happiness and good life. Sir Song said that one should wish for contentment. It can be only achieved if one had all the other qualities and more - good health, good education, good family, happiness and a reasonably good income.

Another book i bought was England's Worst Footballers.

2005-05-08T23:53:00.000+08:00

Guess where i went yesterday night??? No one would ever expected me to be there.

Something like the church. Where people come together and sing and praise Jesus. At Tampines area near St. Hilda School. Lighthouse something...

Why was i there? my mum's brother ask me along. After he told me story about miracle healing and since i was free and curious. I suppose curious is the main word to use here. Because usually just by listening you don't believe it but instead observing it might change your mind.

When we arrived, we were usher to the seats. Siting at the first row!!! What a great start to my curiosity. Everyone had started singing along with the guy on stage, backup singers, 3 pretty angels, the band and a projected screen showing the live event within the place and also the subtitle of the song.

I guess standing and sing was to get everyone involved with them. What i notice was when they were singing, sometimes they raise one or both their hands up 45 degree towards the stage like recieving something. There are some songs i like. Under the shadow? if i'm correct. They will be releasing a new album soon.

The pastor was at Woodland so how did we got connected with him? Through the live telecast between Tampines and Woodland. They had video camera at the chruch. Pretty interesting. Using technology. (Yesh yesh frog in the well Lionel) Talking about a section from the bible and about Love and Faith. I do agree with some part.

Later on was the healing part. Where those with illness to stand up and pray together with those at Woodland. One hand at the body area which they don't find well and if it got to do with blood stuff touch your head and pray. While the volunteer walks around and pray with them. Certain people who felt better after session of praying were invited to the stage from both side (Tampines and Woodland) Their personal testimonial were given out. Stating what was wrong with them and how they felt. After seeing it, i'm not sure to believe it only. *wonders*

Lastly...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2005-05-05T17:00:00.000+08:00

Its raining heavily right now. Wooo but the weather is still not cooling. This month has been VERY HOT.
What a interesting day i had yesterday...

First stop was a ERP project presentation. (I completed it the day before finishing it at 5am while going from room to hall to watch Chelsea vs Liverpool and back hall to room to do the slides :p) During my grp's turn at the last slide, it show something at the end.

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again. -- Flavia Weedn

Teacher asked Arul to read out that sentence. I bet he was feeling what the f*** Lionel type that for? Haha at that time i feeling kinda paiseh. I was telling myself i shouldn't have done that and the teacher ask what did it meant? I was like huh? lucky Weihao said it mean Don't Give Up. Seriously i got no idea why i typed that or gone into thinking what it meant. I was listening to Breathe Easy by Blue while doing the slides when i heard the word dream and went to search under Proverb. That sentence caught my attention and WALA its at the end of the presentation slide. Its just a small creative part of mine or a simple thinking of Lionel?

Went back to Serangoon Seconday School (SRS) where i studied straight after class. Met up with Baohui and Yanting in SRS to have lunch and to visit the teachers. Both turn into much pretty girls. Haha. Yes Baohui very very cute... adorable. A few teacher we knew had already went back home or transfered out.

Later i went back home to change and went to TCC at Bencoolen St. Wonderful place suggected by Yanting to chill. They actually wanted to go Kbox at Katong. Well maybe another time huh. Surprising to see that the TCC have such siting place. Big bean bag to make you sit comfortably and feel like you're at home. Really interesting place to chill. We talk alot of stuff.. family, general stuff etc. etc. When was the last time i have such a chit chat session. Muhahaha. I supposed that was the fun and the real Lionel i was looking for since i joined ITE. Baohui !!! the bite marks are gone :p but some internal blueblack... how was the last bite from me? Damm shiok huh?

Do you guys know the local show "chase"? something like after 10 years from primary or secondary sch life. Somewhere along you meet them again or maybe fall in love with each other. That will be very sweet :p See how each other have grown up. What you doing now and other stuff.

We were there for about 5 hours just talking !!! thats great enjoyed myself. I suppose seconday school life was the BEST. Where everyone has its own "mutual" thinking growing up together from sec 1 to sec 5 thats where i can remember most. Dumb... dumb together, play... play together, kena punish... punish together haha yes really missed those days. I don't think i can remember from the younger days.

Breathe Easy by Blue

Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine

Why did I lie
Why did I wander where to fly
Ooh why
Ooh why

And I.........can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Until your by my side
No I........can't breathe easy
I cant dream you had another dream without you lying next to me
There's no way

Crushed me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Crushed me inside
I wont forget, no I wont baby I
Don't know why
(Don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find

Ooh why
Ooh why

WHY

I.........can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Until your by my side
No I........can't breathe easy
(Breathe easy)
I cant dream you had another dream without you lying next to me, there's no way
No I.........can't breathe easy
I cant dream you had another dream without you lying next to me, there's no way

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life
That's all I'm breathing for
Ooh I......................
Tell me why................
Ooh Tell me why
I cant dream you had another dream without you lying next to me, there's no way

No no no no no I................can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Until your...by my side
Yeah I...................Can't breathe easy
No I...
I can't dream you had another dream without you lying next to me, there's no way
There's no way

2005-05-04T01:06:00.000+08:00

Hiya... i'm back but i don't feel like blogging right now. Don't know what i'm thinking right now.. just confuse feeling lousy stuff like that...don't know why i'm feeling that too. lame huh? Right now i'm listening to Breathe Easy by Blue. Nice song, suits my mood for now.

Arghhh i still have a ERP presentation later at 1215 and i haven't started doing it yet. Later soccer Liverpool vs Chelsea at 0245. I was hoping both club will be kicked out. is it possible? *cheers*

2005-05-01T03:16:00.000+08:00

Right now i'm going to blog what is on the earlier post, i find it very funny and the comments i received from friends. Before i continue, everyone has the right to assume something because thats how a normal human being is like.

While i was typing out that blog, i was not angry, showing or feeling negative. Just normal but made myself angry so i can express the pissed off feeling and was laughing about it. I wanted to blog something like this till this thing came upon by chance. Read on and you'll find out what i really meant.

Some are true, some are not or maybe all were true or is it not? *confusing huh?* Thats for me to know for you to decide which are which. I wanna emphasize again this I'M NOT SO SIMPLE.

When the gentlemen and ladies were reading it, i supposed you assumed that i was angry and pissed huh? Gotcha!!! When was the last time anyone seen me like that? never right? neither online nor real ife. The only time i felt and said something was against my father on the phone which he really really hurts me because of what he did to my mum. That was during 1 years plus ago. Of course not using the famous F word that will be very rude no matter what he is still my father.

Back to topic. What i want to point out is that when others say something to you, its doesn't mean he/she USUALLY meant it. He/she could be pretending to be like angry,happy and all the other emotional stuff bootlick etc... Of course it does feel good when someone praise you and bad if someone talk bad about you but don't let this into you. Lets say in a chat in msn. When a person says haha or hehe doesn't mean the person is really laughing maybe its their habbit to type that. Understand what i'm trying to say? A very good example is the previous blog post and after reading this section. You see the difference? I was not angry at that time but laughing and other thought i was angry. If you still don't understand, go and bang the wall :p oh ya another good example is about 2 soccer manager, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger. They like to have mind war aka psychological war. Each trying to demoralise each other. Something like that but mine is playing with his mind not him playing mine. *rhymes huh? LOL*

What i did was manipulating the feeling. Sounds bad huh but hey when you're into the real working life you'll know what i meant. There usually, surely be 1 **** up person doing that. Right now i'm not trying to be that **** person but telling or say sharing this. Maybe some of you might know but i'm just trying to brain storm the problem out for myself to think. To understand it more clearly to myself. Like i said I'M NOT SO SIMPLE. You might ask why i chose that guy to be the" victim". For one simple reason because he don't trust me. I'll take back my words IF what i say did somehow find its way into his mind if not no way am i taking back the words. *rofl* Another question, did i take him as an enemy? No definitely not. Remember what you learn in ERP? Apply it!!! Its cheaper to keep old customer then getting new ones. It goes for friends too. I'm not talking about using cash form to make friends but you'll feel comfortable with friends you know then a stranger. Am i right?

In life, there are alot of stuff you cannot take it seriously but when you're supposed to be serious you better be. Right now i'm only 20... so still a long way ahead. If i was to take almost every single thing serious, i'll have tons and tons of unsolve problems. I have learn to take thing more relax.

Lets talk about me.

Knowing how to different shape whats this and whats that and don't mixed then up. 1 is 1 2 is 2
I don't judge a person from listen from other. *You should be shot dead if you make friends like that*
You want others to respect you good you have to earn it not the other way around. Same for the other things.

Does it give you a clearer picture of Lionel? hope it does :p

Replies to some comments

Weihao:

*LOL, ROFL, LMAO* Haha thanks about the best post of the year from me. If only this could beat xiaxiu's blog. Then maybe i'll do that everyday. I like this fucka-dong-dong word. Remind me of how Aidil says in a funny way.

Junwei:

Muhahaha forever wanna know people "speical stuff" :p Smack your head ah.. still can ask me for treats as though secondary school life i never treat you like that. =(

Junhan:

Quoted:
"If you're stil bother by it. Tell you what.. Print Screen this site and send it to your lawyer and sue me."

Best.. only you spotted my cold joke. Lol i was expecting Weihao to say something about it because i thought to him i was known to be the cold joker. lousy :p thats was also a infamous cold joke hint to state what mood i was like. I guess no one knew it huh? maybe only Junhan?

Rebbecca:

Hope i din't frighten you huh :p

Awww its 6am, now time to sleep!!!

44 Days to NS *cheers*

2005-04-29T06:10:00.000+08:00

Kindly read the disclaimer before continue reading because its going to be fucking nasty. Yesh, you heard me right

FUCKING NASTY

Maybe that person is talking about me or maybe not. Whatever shit. What some cannot be trusted? Congratulation, if you think your msn nick did pissed me off but too bad YOU FAILED.

DON'T FUCKING ASSUME YOU KNOW ME BECAUSE I'M NOT SO SIMPLE. I suppose you don't know me well enough. I jolly well know how to different shape whats friends and whats love. Yes, i can't deny the fact that I like her. But do i have to ask you before i like her? FUCK YOU you just ask me once whether i like someone, and not her. So what if you know i like her? There ain't nothing for you to stop me from liking her. Who treated you as a enemy? Who say that? YOU yourselves!! When did i even give that feeling about you being a enemy? From hearsay? I don't judge a person from listen from other. Get this FUCKING straight into your thick skull. Answer this question because you forgot to reply to him. "maybe he afraid dat he mite hurt ur feeling or wat" Have you thought of that? FUCK YOUR PRINCIPLE. You want others to treat you good you HAVE TO EARN IT. Why don't you do the other way round? You treat other better first before they treat you better? DUH!

DON'T ALSO FUCKING ASSUME YOU KNOW SOMETHING BUT THE FACT IS YOU DON'T. Get a CLEARER PICTURE before you start all this shit. Eversince before i knew the answer i already stop that feeling. Even when other push me to go forward but i stop. I'm not any Tom, Dick or Harry and hell no do you have to thanks for me that. Why the FUCK am i even bothering to reply this early in the morning at 6am... DAMM because of what you said i just had to let it ALL OUT. Don't blame the guy who told me this. Now I feel dumber reading this blog with all the fucking stuff. Geez

I'm pissed because i hate others assuming that they know me FUCKING damm well and hell no IF you're thinking of apologising because i'm a guy too i understand what you feel. Think before you jump into conclusion next time. Now i feel much FUCKING better letting all out.

CASE CLOSED

If you're stil bother by it. Tell you what.. Print Screen this site and send it to your lawyer and sue me.

2005-04-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

Everytime when i start typing all my thoughts in. I always wonder how i should start... should i start with a "BANG" as in catchy start point or just keep it simple like everyone does. I'm special so is every single one of you out there. Each having their own personality and characteristic. Just have to be yourselves. *did i just answer myself?* Whatever just continue reading..

Great, my aunt just walk passed behind me and i opened another explorer. Haha, she thought i was doing something sinister. Bleh got nag for that. Thats what i do everytime i mean opening another explorer to cover up. I don't like the feeling of while blogging and someone around me is reading it...

Anyway, i read this article on sunday newspaper about blogging. It made me think something. Usually as a blogger whatever we type depends on our mood. In the article, maybe the guy got insulted or something thats why he did that? People just wanna get thing out from their mind because they don't feel comfortable talking out. Thats why there is this blog. Why not in his diary some might ask? Because he don't like writing? He wanted to let others know what he is feeling? things like that. People also view straight from what they read but not how the blogger is feeling. Because of this they made a big deal about it. Come on, its a blog where he write his personal stuff you don't have to continue reading it if it offended you. Geez. Oh ya, i think someone thought i was writing about him last week. Don't worry. I respect all my friends.

I received my national service (NS) letter two week ago. Reporting at 13th June 0830. Don't know why i'm so excited about going in. Maybe i'm running away from problems? Going into NS is like a new lease of life, different environment and knowing more friends. Its like you can start all over again there because you don't know them and they don't know you. Will my miss my current friends? Maybe but certainly to the grp of guys i'm hanging around with. *cheers*

It's obvious that i did cut my hair? I don't know why they could ask me "Lionel, you cut your hair !?" what the... blind or something. BOTAK somemore...
Next question they will ask is why did i cut my hair..? *bangs wall* i should ask them why did they cut their hair for instead... muhahaha what "interesting" friends i have.

Yesterday, all promise and words that are given were completed. Maybe i'll treat the guys for dinner or something. MAYBE ONLY. Arul or Weihao or Junhan or anyone from the grp don't even try to grin.

Forgot what i wanted to type so till next time...

COUNTDOWN TO NS: 46 days if only it moves faster...

2005-04-21T01:47:00.000+08:00

Love

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure.
But when you find a new love,
you view the past as a teacher.
In the game of love,
it doesnt really matter who won or who lost.
What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go!

You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy,
even if his or her happiness means that you are not part of it.

Everything happens for the best.
If the person you love doesnt love you back,
dont be afraid to love someone else again,
for you will never know unless you give it a try.
You will never love a person you love unless you risk for love.

Love strikes in hurting.
If you dont get hurt, you dont learn how to love.
Love doesnt hurt all the time.

Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow.
Dont find love, let love find you.
That is why it is called falling in love because you dont force yourself to fall.
You just fall.
You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters.
If you want to go on,
then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress.
It is a lifetime venture in which we are always
learning, discovering and growing.

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on
and holding on when you need to let go.

We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find
someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.
On falling out of love,
take some time to heal and then get back on the horse.
But dont ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.

To love is to risk rejection; to live is to risk dying,
to hope is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing!

To reach for another is to risk involvement,
to expose your feelings is to expose true self.
To love is to risk not to be loved in return.
How to define love; fall but not stumble,
be constant but not too persistent,
share and never be unfair,
understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.

Love is like a knife.
It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful
images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.

Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling.
It should inspire you and give you joy and strength.
But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

Loving people means giving them the freedom that they
choose to be and where they choose to be.
Loving someone means giving him or her the freedom to find his or her way,
whether it lead towards you or away from you.

Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken,
no matter how scary or painful,
for only then you will experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.

Only love can hurt your heart,
fill you with desire and tear you apart.
Only love can make you cry and only love knows why.
If you are not ready to cry,
if you are not ready to take the risk,
if you are not ready to feel the pain,
then you are not ready to fall in love.
There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that is why it is called falling in love.

Whatever happened, dont give up! It is just a trial.
Have faith in yourself and cheer up.
When you decide to love, allow it to grow.
When you promise to love, refuse it to die!

-----

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her/him,
feel honoured that love came and called at your door,
but gently refuse the gift you cannot return.
Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you,
and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,
even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave,
do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, Let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning.
You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you.
All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life.
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

This is where many lovers go wrong.
Having been so long without love,
they understand love only as a need.
They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love,
and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing,
but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart.
Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.
You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying.
You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover,
there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
Don't deny love just only you don't want to be hurt...

IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT WILL COME AGAIN

-----

When we meet the right person to love when we're
at the right place at the right time,that's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to,
that's not a choice. That's chance.

Being caught up in a moment
(and there's a lotof couples who get together because of this) isnot a choice.
That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterwards.
When will you take that infatuation,
that crush,that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?
That's when all sanity goes back,
you sit downand contemplate whether you want to make this
into a concrete relationship or just a fling.
If you decide to love a person,
even with his faults, that's not a chance.
That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matterwhat, that's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there
who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate,
and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice.
Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us bychance.
But true love that lasts is truly a choice.
A choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie
quote that I believe is so true about this:
"Fate brings you together, but it's still up toyou to make it happen."
I do believe that soul mates do exist.
That there is truly someone made for you.
But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.
We may meet our soul mates by chance,
but loving and staying with our soul mates is still a choice we have to make.

We came to the world not by finding someoneperfect to love...
BUT to learn how to love an imperfect personperfectly...

Conclusion:

it is not the matter how to find someone perfect to love,
but how to love someone imperfect perfectly .....

2005-04-19T22:00:00.000+08:00

Should i say this is the 2nd part of the blog on April 13? Anyway lets carry on...

I got a few response about April 13's blog. Lucky no hate email. *Althought i'm wishing for one to know if i said anything wrong*

Arul asked me something like that.. "Lionel, are those your problem or what?" Maybe he suspect that i was using the female friend as a shadow to talk my problem out. Muhahaha... i guess he would reply okieeeee and the other word.. suthu p..? correct spelling?

Thats Arul, the cockroach killer!!! You should have seen what he was doing back at the chalet. Gals, don't worry we two are not walking on the beach hand in hand :p Weihao was missing inside because i think he was building a sand castle? *forgotten what he was doing* This was taken when we were at a chalet during March Holiday at 6am++

Back to answering his question. Directly nope but whatever i typed in my blogs, somehow interlinks to my problem which i don't want to be so direct. When she (previous girl whom i blog on April 13) told me her problem, i think from a outsider view. From here i learn.

When you're interested in someone, that doesn't mean he/she has to be interested in you. You can't force him/her to like/love you. He/She has their own choice. DON'T TRICK HIM/HER INTO P.T.L *blink eyes* What you can do is to tell him/her you're interested in he/her? bleh tricky question to answer. No one would have like to have a negative answer back but this is the fact how this works. There's always 4 answer waiting. Yes, No, Maybe and worst of all no answer.

- Yes, he/she is also interested in you. Carrying you into another step to a relationship.

- No, stand no chance but you can only like/love him/her in your heart while watching him/her in other person arms but then you can be more thick skin to ignore the no :p

- Maybe, 50% 50% chance. Some love are win through time and patient.

- No answer, give him/her more time to think about it but have a time frame for it!!! Don't be an idiot that keeps waiting. Don't add more problems to him/her life.

In my case... i also don't know which one i belong too. DUH! Although its not a negative answer but will she give me a chance? *sign* *bangs head against wall*

WARNING:

The above above paragraph are SERIOULY NOT for JERKS AND BITCHES. It applys to those who are IN LOVE ONLY not PLAYING WITH LOVE!!!

Franky speaking, i'm shy telling someone i'm interested in face to face or through the phone. What the ~~fuck~~ hell, Lionel SHY??! *puke* Yes i know its hard to believe. Why? Because its like out of the blue for her, telling her that i'm interested in her. Other reason is.. the way they reacted to it. Some might just ignore or act blur huh huh? or oh is it...? of course there are other way of reacting to it. Then next day both will turn complete strangers due to shyness and whatever ~~shity~~ reason. Damm funny when i see such thing happened on others or myself. I can advise others like hey you like her go for it but myself i can't. Damm paiseh aka shy. Muahahaha this is lame... meanwhile take a step at a time

---

Saw Junhan's Blog? his follow up version of mine. *free advertisement for you, Junhan. Return you the favour*

I agree with the last sentences he said about surprises.

Quoted: "if theres' surprises from him/her everyday, i think that is not surprises anymore. It already becomes a everyday needs..." *edited due to language error* :p

---

Read Weihao's blog? I got to apologize to him for having to start all the thinking again but then i speak the truth.

Why i blog that..? because this "things" has been kept inside me. I don't like to talk about it face to face but rather post it in blog to share my inner thoughts with the others. What i had thought, you might not have know and vice versa. Knowing the problems and how to counter it instead of running away from it.

Haha April 13's Blog entry was not about pampering girls. Let me think of a more catchy name. How about... How To Treat Each Other Equal? Choices Are In Your Hand? Nono combines those 2 together. How To Treat Each Other Equal & Choices Are In Your Hand.

Oh ya nice bottom line weihao but sometime things don't usually works that way. You lost some you gain some.

---

Conclusion

Yes, i'm very curious how a love relationship works thats why i'm so into it and the way how human reacts and thinks.

Have you wonder how powerful love is? It can change a person and how he/she performs anything he/she does? because of something he/she willing to this for him/her. Thats how strong it is. Am i right? Sometimes i do thing just to gain that little attention from her. Sounds dumb...? :p

I'm not crazy or anything. Just interested in how each and everyone of us reacts and thinks. Everyone has its own unique mind set. I'm trying to understand it.

2005-04-15T09:33:00.000+08:00

This is not the follow up of the previous blog. Just something I found while surfing. Take your time to read

Anniversaries

Always celebrate! Whether it's the 1st or the 50th, each year together is a triumph.

Appreciation

Let each other know how much you appreciate each other. You may already know but hearing it from each other is always better.

Best Friends

Be best friends preferably before being boyfriend-girlfriend. Take time to know each other so the relationship will be a deep one. Tell each other about your crushes, dreams and problems. Make sure he/she is your best friend before getting engaged. The strong bond of friendship will help you both survive tough times.

Bonding (NOT BONDAGE LAH)

Make it a point to spend time together often but leave room for each other. Also spend time alone with each other, so that at the end of the day you could both share your experiences. This way, you stay interesting with your partner.

Changing Each Other

Don't marry an asshole, a jerk or a bitch. You'll never change each other.

Compliments

Always compliment each other. This will prevent feelings of resentment and thinking that one is being taken for granted.DateKeep doings things that you both enjoy, do them together. Make time (and love) and continue to date to keep the romance - look good, smell good to maintain physical attraction.

Differences

Celebrate differences. Never force your ideologies down each other's throat. Give up trying to turn your partner into you. Accept differences, appreciate them.

Fights

Fight with the aim to resolve the issue. Don't outdo each other. The longer you extend the fight. The more chances that you'll say something hurtful that you don't really mean. As mad as you were with your partner, he/she is still the person who laughs at your jokes & thinks you're hot.

- Hear each other out, don't dig up old issues.

- Choose your battles. Make sure the fight will be worth it & that something will change in the relationship as a result of the fight.

Flaws

Know that the perfect person does not exist. Know that just as there are things that you love about him/her, there will be things that will make you go crazy. We are only human with our own flaws.

Fun

Have fun together! This means keeping the fun and spontaneity that was there in the early days. Allow yourselves to get silly - shower together, pee with the door open etc. Being able to make each other laugh and see the lighter, crazier, absurd side is the best way to get through all the differences in personalities, adjustments in lifestyle & opposing viewpoints.

Goals

Make sure you have similar goals. It would be difficult to keep your bond intact if your views are complete opposite.

Grudges

Quit tabulating grudges. Let it off. Discuss it, then trash it, don't recycle it.

Keeping It Hot

Keep it hot by traveling to different places together. A new setting will do wonders. Always have skin contact - be it holding hands, a massage or just plain leg rubbing.

Honesty

Don't lie or hide things. The problem will only get bigger.Know Each OtherLearn each other's interest. It really keeps the conversation flowing!

Hug

A hug can be far better more intimate than a kiss.

Identity

Don't lose your personality - that's why he/she fell in love with you. Have separate interests and activities to keep your individual personality, and to be able to contribute more to the relationship.

Indenpendence

Having your own income means you're the boss in your life.

IN-LAWS

No issue.

Kill them.

No lah. I'm kidding. REALLY.

Make rooms for the in-laws.

REALLY LAH.

Intentions

Wish each other well. Don't wish each other worst

Issues

Speak up about the awkward stuff now, like money n sex. The earlier, the better.

Listen

Listen, listen, listen. Hear each other out especially during arguments.

Love

With no love, nothing of the above will help at all.Love is the basic of everything.Love them well and sincerely.

2005-04-13T05:00:00.000+08:00

In my mind I have alot of things I wanna blog it down but somehow I'm not sure what is stopping me from doing it. My mood? maybe? I usually blog at night when I'm alone with slow tempo music. I don't wish to be disturb in anyway. I'll blog what I can remember.

About my last post. Being special. When I read it, I too can't believed I wrote those. It sounded mushy, corny bleh bleh bleh like advertising myself. Haha. But hey I spoke the truth. Thats how a guy should treat a girl and of course DON'T OVER PAMPER THEM and vice versa. Just the right amount will do and depends on the situation. Some might take advantage of the situation :p

Does the way I blog tells or make you feel that I'm a "such-a-nice-guy". Well it certainly to ~~arsehole~~ weihao. I type out what I was feeling at that moment. You don't expect me to type out every little detail what or how I'm doing or feeling right..? I too got my own privacy and reasons. Got to thanks Weihao for commenting. It gives me the view from what others feel about me and knowing myself better.

I sometimes do suspect my way of thinking like it sounds that I'm so loving and full of surprises but maybe I'm not? I not sure on the loving part. Is that a good or bad point? Don't know what strikes me to think this way.

A female friend of mine told me "Lionel, you so full of surprises and my boyfriend never did so much or any". She also added that me or generally the good guy are usually found last when their other half doesn't treat them as good only to regret later something like that if I remember correctly. From my view, my friend, you're wrong.

Firstly, my definition for surprise is without telling the person what you're going to buy , where you're bring them out to and so on... thats surprise for me but recently I was kinda force out to say the surprise. Disappointing.. Back to topic. He did at least bought you things which made you happy or surprise right? Gucci strap.. Duh! Its not the price or how branded the stuff is. Its the thoughts that really count. Don't be always the guys doing this or we'll go broke one day... *Poor Junhan* muhahaha. I don't know how other see it but for me even a dollar item will make my day. Items as in practical e.g. key chain. Depends on who gave you the item. At that moment, there should be two feeling. Happy or weird. Happy because that someone surprised you with a gift which you wanted or whatever reasons. Assuming that the someone is happy even for a few seconds, you'll feel happy to0. Weird because what the ~~fuck~~ hell is that someone trying to do? a motive? a bribe? Haha. Thats for you to find out.

As a couple, you might not find him/her romantic because they usually don't tell everything out to you but more to their closer friends like the guys I mixed around with when they told me their problems. From a friend's view, thats where they say you're so sweet bleh bleh bleh but to you maybe not. Understand me? From a friend to friend talk, television shows, movies, my parent *the way the treat each other in a bad way which I don't want to get into too detail* and some other stuff.. thats where I learned to be like that as in... whats the word to use here? romantic? Anyway everyone got to be creative in this area otherwise its BORING everyday. Some special days, some not special days and some MADE to be a special day. Not everytime when you come out you need to spend alot. Be creative and think and DON'T BLAME SINGAPORE FOR BEING SMALL!!! Seriously up to now there's some places where my Aunt din't even know this places exist!!! Thats where the internet comes in handy.

Secondly, there no such thing as good guy including myself. No one is perfect. I don't know whats the definition for good guy. Anyone care to share their own definition of good guy? Whoever you want to be with its up to your choice. In the first place, no one pointed a gun on your head to force you to take him/her. Its that chemistry of feeling that lure you to him/her. Unless you're the type that goes for looks, wanna show off, wanna screw him/her. I'm being realistic here. The choices is yours and its in your hand. No one can psycho who you wanna be with. In a relationship, the only one who knows the best is yourselves. Once you made that final decision, live and have no room for regret because thats the choice you had made.

Never ever judge a book by its cover including me. You may look pretty/handsome but the moment you speak, tells what a person you are. No one is perfect including yourselves. Yar you! Before criticizing others, think of who and what you are first. Maybe a little of gossiping is ok but do have a limit for it as you don't like people to talk behind your back do you? *I wonder how I managed to link the first line and to the last line* Do I qualify being a LOVE GURU? LOL Maybe i'll sign up for the Pope place... =X

I still have daily stuff to blog. Geez this blog took me 3 nights.. Watching the champion league match right now... Bayern Munich vs Chelsea and Internazionale vs Milan *Match abandon* Fans throwing flares down from the stands. Not 1 but alot including umbellar and water bottle !!! One of the flare hit Milan's Keeper Dida. Disgraceful act by the fans. Its 4.35am now.. Yup I still got to go for school later at 12 noon x.X Managed to skip pass the "house security" my aunt, told her I'll be watching soccer matches.

P.S To my friends who reads my blog but doesn't tag or comment. Don't be shy :p In here its freedom of whatever you wanna to say because ITS MY BLOG.

Saw this on a friend's blog. Have you wonder how did they know all this but some of us don't...?

Q: Why is life so complicated?

A: It has to be complicated in order to be simple. For if it was not complicated, then how would we know what was simple and what was not if we had nothing to compare it to?

Q: Why is it so difficult to love?

A: Sometimes true love can only be gained after many hardships.

Q: And if they don't overcome these obstacles? Is the love they share not true? And what is love? Sacrifices? Pains? Sufferings?

A: Love can't be described by one word alone. To me, love is a flavor of life. It's about giving up...sacrificing but also gaining in return. But I guess it does often end in tragedy.

Q: Why is that when two people are truly happy together,that someone or something just has to come along and ruin everything? Why can't the rest of the world just be happy for them?

A: The course of love never did run smooth.

He didn't fear death. He embraced it. He said that if it were his time to go, then no matter how hard he struggled, the final outcome would always be the same. Might as well let things be, he once told me.

Love is like a rose, beautiful, yet full of thorns. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. And though you're still with me.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears. And I've held your hands through all of these years

2005-04-05T23:28:00.000+08:00

"Special" is the word that best descibes you...

"Special" is a word that is used to describe something one-of-a-kind, like a hun or a sunset or a person who spreads love with a smile or kind gesture.

"Special" describes people who act from the heart and keep in mind the hearts of others.

"Special" applies to something that is admired and precious and that can never be replaved.

"Special" is the wordd that best describes you.

This poem is by Teri Fernandez.

I saw this from Junhan's Blog. This poem was given by his gf.

Hao say this poem suits me but i'm not sure in what way.

I haven't use this word special on anyone yet because its special. (makes sense?) Of course you don't go around saying you're special then this word lose its value. Its the same for saying I Love You. To me, this are sensitive words. Having to care, love, trust, respect and understanding her as long as long as we are together. I'm not sure If I got what it takes to do it. Maybe its all just plain talking but someday... my action will prove it.

2005-04-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

How should I start this...

I've been thinking trying to straighten what I'm suppose to do. Its not a big problem but I myself made it into an unsolvable problem. I don't think 'cut-lane' is my cup of tea. I rather let others cut my lane then I cut others. I'm not trying to sound wei da aka noble. Maybe future but for now its somehow against my own set of principle. Haha I'm still rather undecisive. One minute I'm like this the other minute I'm like that.

So what had I been doing lately

Monday and Wednesday were intensively playing soccer at the street soccer court in sch. From 12pm+ to 5pm+ under the SUN! Lucky I brought my bathing stuff along or I'll be suffering in the mrt going back home. Sweaty and Sticky. Can't imagine it...
Wednesday I was very noisy on the court asking them to do this do that. Because they wanted to join a street soccer competition in sch so I had to tackle, shove and be serious with them. Sometime they don't take things seriously. Apologise to you if I have hurt you in anyway.

Tuesday, Rebbeca and myself went for a B.I.T outing (2 pupils per class) to Webvision company. To learn about their services and facility. Pretty interesting. All this ended at about 5pm. Went with her to Clementi's KFC to have a bite. I'm thinking of what she said about me having to join her family if she was to go back Malaysia. Hmmm... After that we went to West Mall to walk around and I sent her back home.

Geez on Thursday P.E, they still have the energy to play !!! I was having jelly leg thanks to Monday and Wednesday. Due to lack of players and the love for soccer, I had to play while trying hard not to sweat too much..

I really got to mind my manner and the way I speak. I've been too rude.. Bad words coming out from my mouth OFTEN and showing the middle finger -_-|| GOT TO CHANGE !!

Its doesn't matter how other thinks about me but it matters to me how other think about them. I'm referring to those name I have put in my blog. Because all these are from my personal view. You don't know them unless you understand them.

Lastly I have to thanks the guys for occupying my time with soccer instead of myself thinking and thinking and to Weihao !!!

Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say,
But if you let me love you
I'm sure to love you all the way.

2005-03-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

Lazy to blog this few days..

Sit back and enjoy reading

1. no one knows the relation better then u do, when in doubt, try not to look at the relation as a part of it... look at it as if u're an out-sider. u'll see better and think clearer.

2. no matter what situation u're faced with, show courage and trust, to solve the problems and not avoid it. believe in ur feelings, believe in urself...

3. if a relation has to end, let it be, pack up ur feelings and move up, life has to continue, and one of this days, u'll have to pick up the shattered pieces and start living again, why let it drag, why not make it today?

4. if a person leaves u, it's not becos u're that lousy, that weak..(a small percent of the time, tis is ture... but it's so small, let's neglect it altogether..)it's becos he/she no longer loves u, and that u should no longer love him/her too...

5. the is always the factor of time and space, maybe the time was rite, but the space was wrong... so no choice, can be friends... who knows, maybe in the near future, time and space will come together...

6. lastly, love is not what others say, think or feel... after all, u only seek company and help when there is problems... u'll never ask ur friend out to celebrate any great moments, so who knows the good side of the relation but you? do whta u feel u mus, but always give your best, and be true to urself...

-----

3 yrs ago..
Kin n Angel was 2 lovely couple..Kin was a full time SAF guy..who works all day n didn't haf sufficient time 2 be wif Angel..So Angel often quarrels wif him due 2 tis..at e beginning of their relationship..dey promise each other dey wil buy gifts for each other
every weekends..As dey promised..Angel went 2 buy Army designed action figures 4 Kin coz Kin was in love wif tis kind of action figures..N Kin..he is always late for their date..coz he went 2 buy a ring 4 her..at 1st..Angel loves tat ring although it's simple..but aft a yr..Kin stil buys her e same ring..n Angel started 2 get sick of e RIng..but she dun wish 2 tell Kin bout tis..2yrs ltr..Kin called up Angel n wish 2 mit her for a tok..n Kin sounded serious..
Tat night..

Kin: dear..
Angel: Yes..
Kin: i'm goin off soon..
Angel: to Where?!
Kin: USA..
Angel: Y..watz That 4?
Kin: USA army ask our country 2 go ther n haf an exchange of Knowledge..
Angel: but y muz it b u?!!
Kin: im oso nt sure but..i'm leaving tml..take tis...
Angel: tis again!! y u kip giving me tis STUPID ring..i dun wan tis(she pass back 2 kin)
Kin:..(turns n walks away..)

juz like tat..Kin leaves..Angel went home n cried throughout e nite..juz hoping Kin wil gif her a call..but he didn't..till e nxt day..Kin called n told her he is goin off soon..he at
e airport..but by e time Angel reach e airport..Kin is no longer ther..

6months ltr...

Angel was on her way back...she saw Kin..Kin approached her n pass her e RIng again..

Kin: dear..accept it please..
Angel: ..(speechless n took e RIng..)
Kin: dear..pls...4get mi..
Angel: WHAT?!?!
Kin: .....(turned n walked off...)
Angel: Wait!!

Angel ran towards the direction where Kin goes off 2 chase for him but..he disappeared..Angel went home n called Kin's house but his parents say he's nt home yet..she hang up n went 2 sleep..the image of Kin saying "4get me..pls.." kip on comin into Angel's mind..suddenly...her phone rings...n she's being shocked 2 wake up..

???: Hello??
Angel: U r??
???: I'm callin from American University Hospital..
Angel: who r u lookin 4?
Nurse: i'm looking for miss Angel..
Angel: I am..
Nurse: Erm..do u noe e guy whose name is Kin?
Angel: Ya..(wondering..)
Nurse: erm..sumting happen 2 him..he was on a trip n he met a accident..a broken tree
broke off n hits directly on him..
Angel: How is he now?!?!?(crying..)
Nurse: Miss..pls relax n cool down..i'm sad 2 tell u tat....He's DEAD..
Angel: No!..It can't be!!..i juz saw him!!..can i noe wat time is his death?
Nurse: 2 hrs ago..
Angel: No!!..it's imposible!!!(Angel hang up e phone..)

Angel cant believe it..she cried n cried till her eyes were sore..she can't take tis news..days pass..she been not eating..slpin..or even rest..but juz crying...she lock herself up in her room..n she went 2 take all those RIngs that Kin bought 4 her..she
observe n look at all e rings..suddenly..she realise..inside every diamond..there's a
word..

She took out all the rings den she realise she gt 25 diamond rings..look carefuly..she realise..all those rings form up a sentence..she reads out.."Angel..I..Love..U.. Pls..Be.. Wif..Me..4eve"..she felt strange..it's nt complete..suddenly..she rmb e last ring tat Kin pass her..she took out frm her pocket n..read.."Angel..I..Love..U..Pls..Be..Wif..Me..4e
ver"

..she start 2 cry again..Actually..kin was late 4 their date is becoz he nid 2 rush aft his work n go n get tis specially designed RIng..n Angel doesn't noe bout it..kin is able 2 pass e last ring..it's nt him..but his soul..

-----

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,"Who would like this $20 bill?"Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the groundand started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty."Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives,we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make andthe circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.You are special- Don't EVER forget it."

2005-03-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

Today, I shall talk about what happened recently about myself instead of the news. (Hey I got to read up all the newspaper to gather infomation on whats going on since the chalet don't provide newspaper so its more on myself today :P)

Cool, I'm back from a 3 days 2 night chalet. Well I got back yesterday night. Was supposed to be there till this morning but the usual grp I hang around had gone back (went back with them yesterday night) and maybe abit of jealousy if I was to stay on.

Met Weihao and Zann at Paris Ris Interchange at 4pm. Took a bus and had lunch at Downtown East's Macdonalds. (They wanted me to choose where I wanted to have lunch even thought they were the ones hungry and I had eaten before I joined them...DUH) Made our way to cheers to buy some plastic bowls and headed to Costa Sands Resorts Pasir Ris G1.

We were early. Yan Song, Hung Poh, Erik, Eric, Wenyu, Anderlin (Wenyu's Elder Sister) and Jesscia were already there. I supposed all the food was prepared by Jesscia. My first time meeting Anderlin, our senior citizen. Muhahaha. Everyone calls her Da Jie meaning Big Sister so I followed suit. She is friendly, easy going and likes to talk ALOT. I mean ALOT !!!

Actually this chalet is organise by Yan Song. It was meant to celebrate his Birthday but there was some misunderstanding involving who was invited and money problem. Anyway its cleared by Da Jie *cheers*

While barbequing and eating, we had a small grp talk with Da Jie more like a Boy Girl Relationship talk. I wan kinda surprised what I heard. Da Jie said I look like those good boy type and its the girl lost to lose me. My feeling at that time was like should I feel happy or sad? It made me think back whether I did anything wrong or maybe I'm just a online person like she said. Anyway the tag I replied to her had been edited 3 times. To make it less like i'm petty or whatever cos yes I still feel sad when I think about it and I don't want her to cry over my stupid comments.

Back to chalet, took a walk with Weihao around the chalet. Guy to guy talk. So many problems in our mind. Friends, Family, Love and alot of stuff. (Don't worry Weihao You got me and I got you :p) sounds gay Muhahaha

Junhan, Xinghong and Calvin arrived about 10pm+ just in time to sing the birthday song. Sang in english, chinese and cantonese (I don't know how to sing that). I don't like the feeling having others to sing for me. I'll get goose bump. After that they carried Yan Song to where? To the swimming pool and that was history. Drench from top to toe. Cool huh? Sensational feeling?

They were grps of young children using the drinking vending machine. They were from Hongkong. I understand what they are saying but I don't know how to speak. One by one they were asking for small change for the vending machine till everyone was out of coins. Cute. About 1am+ Arul and Aidil came. There was no more food. Poor them.

I spent the whole night more on self thinking then playing dai dee and Xbox. Different environment makes me feel or think better. About 6am+ went to the beach with Arul and Weihao. Misty view in the sea. I think I decided to give it a go at her. Went back to sleep at 7.30am You should have seem how I position myself to sleep and I'm really sure the person who snored was XINGHONG.

About 12 noon, we went Wild Wild Wet. First time being there. I think we took all the rides. I like the U shaped ride. Only that give me the feeling of being high the other rest were like DUH! I just any how shout like I'm enjoying myself on the rides. Really no cake can yawn.

Went back to chalet. Take a beach walk with Jesscia and bought her favorite ice cream. Dropped my handphone again.. this is the second time. and it split open on the TOP when I was looking for the ice cream -_-|| ! They ordered 3 boxes of pizza. After finishing it, Zann, Weihao, Junhan, Huifen, Xinghong and myself made our way home.

It doesn't matter how much money I spend as long as it can bring some happiness to her or whoever. I know my limits and budget. Guys don't think I'm rich, I'm just like all of you. I know when to spend and when not to.

2005-03-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

On Discovery Channel, it shows what happened On March 20, 1995, in the midst of morning rush hour, five highly placed members boarded five trains at different stations. At a predetermined point in time, the five members punctured bags of sarin wrapped in newspaper with umbrellas as they left their trains. The time and place appear to have been deliberately selected, as Kasumigaseki Stationis located under many government offices and the National Police Agency's headquarters. It killed 12 and injured 5,500 others.

Althought the founder Shoko Asahara was caught and sentenced to death but it's cult still pose a big danger to Japan. On January 18, 2000, the cult announced it was changing its name to Arefu (Aleph, in English). Its still recuiting people to join them! Scarey...

Have you been to Japan? Their Subway is CONFUSING. That part is for Tokyo only. If i'm right there another 11 more subway maps in Japan. Theres.. Ibaraki, Kobe, Kyoto, Niigata, Oita, Osaka, Saitama, Sapporo, Sendai, Shizuoka and Yokohama. Enjoy figuring where it leads to.

Now then they realised this ??? Well thats good news for those wanting to go into Poly graduating this year. They can almost save half.

So whats on today for myself. DISSAPPOINTMENT >.<

Firstly, there is suppose to be a trip on Good Friday to Genting with my friends. Weihao actually planned in advanced. How much and we were going. About $140+ 3 days 2 night Genting and KL. But was cancelled.. thanks to some buggers having last minutes thoughts. No money and other plans. No money nad other plans..? told them about $140+ for trip already and when we are leaving. Disappointment..

Secondly, supposed to have soccer with the guys tomorrow. Planned last week. Time and place was done. Tuesday 7-9pm and we got to book the place. Everything was done but the time slot was taken. Change to 11am-1am thats on Sunday NIGHT when i knew it. Ok i'm fine with it.

On Sunday NOON, a friend ask me wanna join her on Monday for chalet which i have given word to it. So i'm sandwich between chalet and soccer cos chalet usually means having to stay overnight and not knowing the soccer time had changed. Of course you can't possible ask me to tell my friend oh i'm sorry i got soccer which is more important. FUCK YOU if you think the soccer was cancelled because of me not having enought players. I'm not angry with them but kinda pissed off which i don't think its a joke at all. Something which i have promise or given word to, i'll do it not like some. *points all fingers and toes at Aidil*

Actually all this promises and given word stuff had an impact on me when I was in secondary school. *STARES at Hock Chai* my BEST BUDDY during those days. He keeps promising this and that but somehow failed to keep his word to someone and phone me one unforgettable day. *pss its still saved with me* =X this is how or what it has made a impact on me.

Anyway the chalet in the end also never went. Because her friend din't tell her the time or something. So thats 3 DISSAPOINTMENT >.<

Changed the font size bigger due to being 20 means getting old with poor eyes sight =/ and removed the music cos its beginning to irritate. This goes to show how often I visit my blog. Looking for a site to host some classic piano and flute song to share with you guys...

2005-03-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

Singapore is going to build a $226m dam across Marina Channel to offer rooftop view of area and space for recreation along the area enlarged. The dam which is 350m long, made of concrete and steel will be ready in two years' time is the culmination of a 20-year plan to create an urban reservoir. It not only add to Singapore's water supply but also check flooding in the city. Its going to be Singapore 15th reservoir. Water sports can be held at the Marina reservoir. Canoeing, Wakeboarding, F1 power boat racing and many others.

Cool huh? I din't know singapore have 14 reservoir. Its another place of interest to go to next time. I'm really sure the night view will be very fantastic. Enjoying the scenery and listening to the sea breeze. Simply wonderfully...

If you have spare time, do read Xiaxue's blog. Best Asian Blog winner 2004. Her command of english is damm good. Do read up some of her "classics entries" its so hilarious. She actually got the time to really go the extra miles to make jokes on certain stuff. Oh ya don't ever ever cross into her path. With her command of english, she can turn you from a hero to a zero and you'll turn into a celebrity overnight cause of the fans she got. Just take a look at the entires for cab snatcher. Muhahaha...

2005-03-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

Last night my chest hurts again -_-|| I guess i was too full because after dinner then it happened. Right now there's still some uneasiness on the chest. Damm lousy me. Now i had to eat fish oil pills? lol my aunt ask me to eat. I also don't know why.

Been rather feeling guilty for sometime. argggghh maybe i think too much.

Don't try to understand me but know me. Because i'm a complicated thinker. DON'T ASSUME that i'm sad or whatever when i don't talk. There's many reasons.

Maybe i don't feel like talking?
I got no topic to talk with you?
I'm into deep thinking?
I don't wanna be 'light blub'?
I don't click with you?

Lol theres much more reasons then those above. I talk when I want to if not I'll rather be quiet and observe how is happening around me. Incase someone is looking for trouble or whatever so to my friends or myself. Keep myself prepare.

Can't wait to read the news about the casion issue tomorrow. Today the goverment is thinking whether to approve it. Nah not that i'm interested in gambling. I wanna see how Singaporean react to this touchy issue. 19 proposal all over the world wants to invest in Singapore. If it is approved, it will greatly boast Singapore's economy. Creating more jobs, pulling more tourists and so on. This is a good part and of course there also the bad part. Social problems bleh bleh bleh. We should trust the goverment. I mean come on they are doing this for the best of singapore not themselves. Look at how Singapore had developed into and I know there can't be room for any misjudgement from the goverment. Just one wrong move overnight it could turn 0. This are just my personal views ^_^

Was blog hopping around when the 10 Myths caught my attention. Enjoy...

The Ten Myths.

MYTH #1: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON A GREAT MEETING OF THE MINDS

You will never see things through your partner's eyes because you are two entirely different people. You are genetically, physiologically, psychologically and historically different.

You will not solve your relationship problems by becoming more alike in your thinking. Men and women are wired differently. Attempting to blur your fundamentally different viewpoints is unnatural and even dangerous.

Recognize that a relationship is far more enjoyable when you're with someone who enriches your life, not simply reflects it. Appreciate your differences.

MYTH #2: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES A GREAT ROMANCE

Yes, your life with your partner should include plenty of romance. But don't kid yourself and expect an unrealistic Hollywood fairytale. The truth is that in the real world, being in love is not like falling in love.

Falling in love is only the first stage of love. It's impossible to remain in that stage. A mature relationship will shift from dizzying infatuation to a deeper, more secure love.

Don't make the common mistake of thinking that when the initial wild passion fades you aren't in love anymore. The answer is not to start a new relationship so you can recapture that emotional high with someone else. The answer is to learn how to move on to the next stages of love for a different but richer experience.

MYTH #3: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES GREAT PROBLEM-SOLVING

Don't fall into the trap of believing that you and your partner can't be happy if you can't resolve your serious disagreements. Ninety percent of problems in a relationship are not solvable.

There are things that you and your partner disagree about and will continue to disagree about. Why can't you once and for all resolve these issues? Because in order to do so, one of you would have to sacrifice your values and beliefs.

You can simply agree to disagree and reach "emotional closure" even though you haven't reached closure on the issue.

MYTH #4: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES COMMON INTERESTS THAT BOND YOU TOGETHER FOREVER

There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you don't share common interests and activities.

If you and your partner are forcing yourselves to engage in common activities but the results are stress, tension and conflict, don't do it!

MYTH #5: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP IS A PEACEFUL ONE

Don't be afraid to argue because you think it's a sign of weakness or relationship breakdown. Even the healthiest couples argue.

If approached properly, arguing can actually help the relationship by (a) releasing tension and (b) instilling the sense of peace and trust that comes from knowing you can release feelings without being abandoned or humiliated.

Instead of worrying about how many times you argue, worry about how you argue. Here are some guidelines:

Don't abandon the issue and attack the worth of your partner during an argument.

Don't seek conflict because it's stimulating.

Don't pursue a take-no-prisoners approach in your arguments.

Don't avoid achieving emotional closure at the end of an argument.

MYTH #6: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP LETS YOU VENT ALL YOUR FEELINGS

Getting things off your chest might feel good, but when you blurt something out in the heat of the moment, you risk damaging your relationship permanently. Many relationships are destroyed when one partner can't forgive something that was said during uncensored venting.

Before you say something you might regret, bite your tongue and give yourself a moment to consider how you really feel. The things we say while we're letting loose often don't represent how we really feel and shouldn't be communicated ?especially if they are potentially destructive.

MYTH #7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX

The belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. Sex provides an important time-out from the pressures of our daily lives and allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners.

Sex might not be everything but it registers higher (90 percent) on the "importance scale" if it's a source of frustration in your relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it becomes a gigantic issue. On the other hand, couples that have satisfying sex lives rate sex at only 10 percent on the "importance scale."

Don't restrict your thinking by considering sex to be something that only consists of the actual physical act. Touching, caressing, holding hands and any means by which you provide physical comfort to your partner can all be viewed as part of a fulfilling sex life.

MYTH #8: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP CANNOT SURVIVE A FLAWED PARTNER

Nobody's perfect. As long as your partner's quirks are non-abusive and non-destructive, you can learn to live with them.

Instead of focusing on your partner's shortcomings, remember the qualities that attracted you in the first place. Perhaps some of these idiosyncrasies were part of the attraction? Just because a behavior isn't mainstream, doesn't mean that it's toxic to the relationship.

Be careful to distinguish the difference between a partner with quirks and one with a serious problem. Serious problems that are destructive and abusive include substance abuse and mental/physical abuse. Unlike idiosyncrasies, these are not behaviors you should learn to live with.

MYTH #9: THERE IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP GREAT

Nothing could be further from the truth. There is no definitive "right way" to be a good spouse, good parent, or to handle any relationship challenge that life throws you.

Do what works for you rather than following some standards you might have read in a book or heard from a well-meaning friend. If what you and your partner are doing is generating the results you want, stick with it. If both of you are comfortable with the principles that work, you can write your own rules.

Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner's expressions of love. There is no "right way" for someone to love you. The fact that your partner expresses feelings differently doesn't make those feelings less genuine or of less value.

MYTH #10: YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN BECOME GREAT ONLY WHEN YOU STRAIGHTEN YOUR PARTNER OUT

Don't fall into the trap of believing that if you could change your partner, your relationship would be better. You are, at the very least, jointly accountable for the relationship.

Let go of the childlike notion that falling in love means finding someone who will be responsible for your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness.

If your relationship is distressed, the most important person for you to change might be yourself. Once you identify the payoffs you are subconsciously seeking with destructive behavior, you can choose to remove them from your life.

2005-03-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

Eeek is it the weather or me? its soooo hot.

When was the last time I actually had a proper lesson? Lesson has been canceling canceling. I lost count of it. This week you can say I just come to sch for soccer with the guys. Nah I'm not complaining, I enjoy playing with them.

I feel bad if I injured someone and all I can say is sorry. I am only interested in winning games, not hurting people. Its part and pacel of the game.

Yesterday was the dateline to pass up the application for poly. Well I somehow qualify for the engineering course. None of the courses appeals to me. Even if it does, I have to ask myelf. Do I have interest in this courses? Its better to do something you enjoy without beinging force or worse of all following your friends cos they also in that course. Nah other then sport stuff, i don't think poly life suits me.

Oh ya was reading a friend's blog, was talking about studys. I too was in that situation before like you when I was at your age. I was getting sucky result. I wondered why I had to study those when I don't think it will help me in future. Then you're so wrong. Whatever you learned now, somehow it will link with what you're doing now or future. Trust me in this. When I got a B, parent will say why not A bleh bleh bleh. Well as parent, I'm sure they want the best for their children right? You can't blame them for it. Its natural instinct for parent. So just go in n out ear. Don't get me wrong, i'm not teaching you the bad thing. Its one of the ways to counter those =X If its your friends nagging ask them shut up. Lol just kidding. You're lucky that even your friends are worried for you. In some way its good. Other then parent, friends are the other form of moral encouragement.

Sum it up. Go and do what you enjoy doing without being bother what or how people feel or think. Of course the correct way not crazy way...

2005-03-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

BaCk! Been rather busy "entertaining" myself.. GOSH!! last week tuesday was the latest post @.@ so where and how should i start.

Practically last week was more of the starting of the March holiday. Its like getting ourselves into a holiday mood. ITE don't follow the calendar's holiday. Ours is after the March holiday thats show on the calendar.

here it goes..

10/3/04

Business Info Technology (B.I.T) OUTING !!! The department of B.I.T was all out for an outing at Clementi's bowling ally. Imagine the whole place was packed with ITE students including year 1. Total of 12 classes. Average out for the ally attendance was about 20 per class. Each class had 30 games free. Haha myself only managed to bowl 3 times. Its not my nails that prevented me from playing but i was just not interested at that moment of time. Teachers organise the outing once in a blue moon of course i don't say i was not interested but giving the execuses of my poor nail and the guys were so entu about it. Showing their strength and skill. lol damm my nail really broke =( There were the slow, fast and throwing type. I was the throwing type muhahaha. If given alot more chances to bowl i bet that area would have to go for repair due to the throwing of the bowling ball on the ally. ROFL. I was observing everyone. Their reaction before and after bowling so funny.

After that the guys wanted to play pool but too bad our polo ITE shirt don't allow. Some went home and a few others and myself went to Jurong East. There was a pasar malam going on. I bought a 1000 pieces Jay Chou Jigsaw puzzle. 75cm by 50 cm. for $5. Went to have lunch, of all places Long John Silver again..

Walk back to the MRT station when we got approached by someone. Aiya those looking for donation type but this one more special. He intro himself and never state who he was working for and said he was doing a survey on the unemployment rate bleh bleh bleh whatever shit. Then I asked him what does he want cos he was beat around the bush giving those "talks" sorry man I don't eat those. What he wanted was $$ contribution. He managed to psycho 1 to giving contribution and 1 to listen his crap. LOL. We were talking what if a pretty gal approach you/me what will you do? They still can say they will donation geeezz guys.. myself erm if is the same suitation as above then NO! aiya mostly the answer is no unless its like those Sat n Sun where sch gal n boy are out in force. No way you can escape that =(

Started doing the jigsaw on the very day after that till now haven't touch. lol will give the reason as you read further on.

11/3/04

Its another outing today ^_^ to Air Force System Division. Everyone had to turn up in sch for the bus to fetch us in. I was totally disappointed with the grp i hang with. NO ONE FROM THE GRP TURN UP ONLY ME. Haiz.. nvm i'm forgiving =/ Lucky the trip was enjoyable or i wouldn't have talk to any of the guys for 1 week =X lmao.
Get to know the other classmate better which i seldom mixed around with oh ya some girls went gaga out the army boys. While taking photo with the teachers and my class at the hall area, the teachers were leaning onto each other side by side and Mr David Lee was beside me leaning too. Total of 2 teachers leaning side by side each other so i was the victim. Mr David still can say how comfortable leanning against me was... beside me was rebbeca and you don't expect me to lean on her do you.. -_-| I was more focus on how to balancing myself then taking photo..

Thanks Dalilah for the photos ^_^ she's the tallest on the right photo =/

After dismiss, went to Tampines's Challenger bought 3 games for $73. Restaurant Empire, Hotel Giant and Medieval Total War. Hotel Giant and Medieval Total War were total FLOP !!! boring and the graphic was not to my liking. Anyone interested in that? I'll sell to you at half price. Restaurant Empire was the game that delay me from the jigsaw. I was so hook to it.

15/3/05

Morning went to TTSH for the appointment. On my way there, saw a grp of young children age 3-5. Waiting to cross the road with their teacher holding thir hand. Damm cute like little duckling. Din't wanted to jaywalk infront of them later they learn my way -_- so waited with them. While crossing the road, their teacher ask them to raise their other arm CUTE SIA. Can i kidnap them? Muhahaha

At the hospital, I did the treadmill. All done within 1 hour including the waiting. The Doc say i have high blood presure..? or something lol anyway Ii got another appointment on 8th April. BABA!

Went out with Jesscia at Tampines Mall. Had lunch at Pastamania *drools* and watched Hitch I really really recommend this movie. Love and Comedy. Damm nice.

Its about Alex "Hitch" Hitchens (Will Smith) helping other guys giving their best first impressions to a girl which they LOVE not like. Theres difference between like and love. Maybe you guys might get a tips or two. At a certain part when Eva Mendes and her friend was at a match-made session when Hitch (Will Smith) was about to get shoo off, he was saying falling in love was so GOD DAMM HARD it somehow woke me up or something the other one was when Hitch just got back home from jogging, comes in Kevin James as Albert Brennaman. Albert was talking about how badly he misses her and how he was feeling. feel like dieing somesort. Then it came into my mind when we broke off that was what I was feeling like... haizz You got to watch the show to understand it. Maybe I'll watch again or something. Oh ya one of the actress Eva Mendes shares the same B'day as me but 11 years older then me =/

16/4/05

As for today, there was no school. BABA but still need to go there for soccer. Arul lar, master of persuading. Anyway i got nothing to do at home other then jigsaw.

Ok time for my jigsaw puzzle ^_^

2005-03-08T23:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was at Hougang. Met up with Vinz, Erik and Huifen in the morning to school. Gee that teddy tubby aka alvin (usually call him Vinz) was LATE. That sucker ask me not to be late but he came late.. I guess it got to do with the way he walks. ROFL

During lessons, Don and his sidekicks, Brian and Edmund talk more then usual. Don't know what got into Don, he was talking so much. I think without Nisa around, he went haywire. Brian laugh was like so fake and LOUD. Edmund as usual. From one end of the class you can heard exactly what they are talking about.
If anyone of you guys above read this,which i don't think so, try to change. There are some who are entertainning you only cos your jokes are neither fun or whatever. No offence though.

After school, Vinz and myslef went to watch Assault On Precinct 13 at Jurong Point(JP). Thats the earlier cos sch finished at 3+ and show started about 4.45pm. My first time at JP cinema. Not bad. Overall the show was GOOD. Recommend this show. Just the right amount of talking and action althought Vinz was somehow disappointed cos there was no sex scene. LMAO Alot of f*** word geee. We smuggled food in.. those flourball 3 for $2 not bad muhahaha

Today went for hospital appointment at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH). Nothing special just like what they did at polyclinic doing the same checking again. Doctor say nothing to do with the heart. Had to be back there on 15th to run on the Treadmill. Sian.

2005-03-05T23:11:00.000+08:00

Being twenty means...

out of teenage?
nearer to ns?
more responsibility?
more stress?
more problems?

whatever..

This is our Utopia Kingdom Banner for the day. Lol I don't why the durian cake. Eversince i mention durian in the Kingdom forum, Jet and guys went crazy. I won't go into detail. Muhahaha.

How did I spend the day. erm whole day at home facing the PC !! sian. I din't wanted any celebration. Even though my aunt wanted to go out for dinner but I just stayed at home. She bought back a Black Forest Cake! No singing no blowing of candles please.. I just cut the cake and ate almost half. Thats my dinner. Muhahaha

I want to thanks those who send their greetings? I don't know whats the word call. I was kinda puzzled because usually only a handful will sms or something other then the friendster reminder. Nah just curious.

Once again THANKS GUYS N GALS

2005-03-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

By the time I finished this writing, I should be twenty. *act blur* Yar should be.

No class today. Thats the 3rd week straight row on Friday that Mr David Lee had canceled lesson.

Wanted to watch Assault On Precinct 13 this morning at 9.15am but lazy and overslep. Shall postone to next week Tuesday thats when the actual day for the hospital appointment. Of all days but tuesday, I don't have lesson every tuesday. Could have gotten a MC and a spare day to rest. Muhahaha

You know i'm been playing this utopia game for like almost 2 year. Chat with alot of different nationality players from Netherland, States, Malaysia, Philippines, Romania and lots more. Recently I exchanged handphone numbers with 2 kingdom mates. Jet and Carlo. Both Filipinos guys (aww not gals) but Jet is living at States. Exchanged handphone numbers to infom each other incase of war. Silly huh? More like Utopia freak. Just got our 5th war win. Thats the present they give me. Cheapskate =X I wonder how much is per sms to each of them. To States and the other to Philippines.

Added a new tag board. So far so good. Its free to be invaded now. *cheers*

Exactly one month, the roses should have wither but has my feeling?

2005-03-03T12:51:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog yesterday but was lazy. So I shall combine everything together.

I've been bathing 3-4 times daily with cold water!!! The weather around Tampines or is it me is damm HOT partly because of the bush fire around Tampines area and the haze after the fire. From my aunt's house, I can even see the haze at the field downstair. Take care to those living near Tampines and those studying in Temasek Polytechnic(TP). Hmm why TP? Don't know just came out of my mind.

When was the last time I walk in the rain? Today was raining kinda normal for me. Was with Zann and Jessica at the MRT station waiting for Peiying while outside was raining "normally". They were persuading me to share a cab just right 4 person cos i wanted to walk in the rain. Before Peiying arrived, Yansong came along so thats 5 person i thought no need to share but then comes Alvin aka Teddy Tubby. LOL he walks like one to me. Total 6. 3 on 1 Cab. Bill 86 cents each. ROFL.

After the first lesson was break, we played soccer in the rain. Nice sweet whatever.. wasted my 31 cents which i can saved if i took a bus to school. Ok not funny. The rain was on for 15-20 minutes and it stop. I wish it had continued. Right now I'm sick. Arghh damm weak caught a cold and kept sneezing maybe fever tomorrow..

Mr David Lee. my class advisor was discussing with the class about a project $1,500-$1,600 pay. Ask me and weihao whether we were interested in it. Share the amount. I suggested I take 70% he take 30% LOL. Programming on webby and database if i remember correctly. Mr Lee see us so high. Asked us to consider.

The other discussing was about the trip to Aceh, the tsunami hit area. To help out over there. Its confirm Mr Lee is going there on May-June period. Ask if we wanted to join him but he stated something. There were still minor earthquake and crossfire between the rebel and Indonesia army. Hmm not sure if i want to go there. I got nothing to lose. Maybe ask around if anyone is interested accompany me which i doubt there is anyone interested. Muhaha see how first

I've been watching the new series Survivor 10 at Palau every friday at 10pm and Amazing Race 7 every wednesday at 10.30pm. Why i watched this? Because it pushes people to the limit which is when they show their real colour and the beautiful scenery. Backstabber, betrayer, alliance and many other stuff. You name it.

Amazing Race 7 features Rob and Amber. Amber was the previous winner in Survivor. Right now all of them are at Peru. From the camara view, everything is nice and simple.

Oh ya its Zann's Birthday. They are out partying tonight at Chinablack. Zann on the house !!! Why i never go..? erm thats my problem? muhaha just kidding. Aiya 2morrow got school, my aunt will nag saying tomorrow got school bleh bleh bleh and I don't drink. Maybe next time when no school or something. Go there drink coke or orange juice. LMAO

I personally like 29th February. Every 4 years on February there is 29th. That is what they call a leap year. Its so unique. Do you know that last year February, there were 5 Sunday? on the 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd and 29th was a Sunday. Its comes after 28 years later so next will be on 2032. Click on Why are leap years used? to find out more on leap years.

Birthday that falls on 29th February, I wonder how are they going to celebrate it. Either they celebrate on the 28th February or 1st of March and have to wait for 4 years till the actual day. I'll make sure its a unforgetable celebration if I know of any friends's birthday that lies on that day. I promise. :P

I found out who called me. It was from Angela. Wait let me continue before you start thinking anyhow. Angela from National Kidney Fountain(NKF) same old thing donation card. Haizzz of all names... anyway guys and gals donate generously when I offer you the card. Be proud cos i don't always go around asking for donation. haha

Cool i found out whose Enest0. He is not underscorcer. Well not exactly I found out but he told me who he was. I din't expect my friends to pay attention to my blog other then Weihao and Chun Wai tagging.

Talking about tagging, I need to look for a new tag board. The one i had is out because "Costs are running very high, and our signups are by hundreds daily. Our sevice provider has informed us of the high usage of the DoodleBoard service and we have no choice but to act to resolve this. As a result, we regret to inform all our Basic Users that DoodleBoard will no longer be able to provide the service free. Enhanced members will continue to enjoy DoodleBoard service with no service disruption." Thats the reason from them. Lol US $2 per month.

Last Friday night, met up with Adrian and Chun Wai at Compass Point at 9pm. What the... same old them LATE by 30mins basket. Forgive them cos Ester wanted them to accompany her. We had drinks at Starbucks and after awhile Yongheng joined us. We were talking about how each of us is getting on in school. Yongheng been in NS for 6 months, Esther getting married end of this year duh thats what i heard from her like 2 years ago, Adrian and Chun Wai in poly busy rushing for their project. Busy life in Poly huh? Hmm i'm still thinkinh of signing on or go into poly IF i can..

Ciao got to sleep now its 3:11am now !!! Will look for new tag board tomorrow.

2005-02-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

I got this from my email @.@ hmm does it have the gals version?
Its like always the guys breaking the gals heart but not the other way. Yes most of the guys but not all does that. I'm one of them THAT DOES NOT...
Enjoy reading

ALL GUYS OUT THERE MAKE SURE UR READ THIS. LOOK HERE.

Don't take girls for granted. You don't
know what they have done for u.
Message: Love the girl in your heart, not in your
mind. If you base your relationship on feelings, it
will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls
are there to be loved, not toyed around.

Love her for who she is. Don't even think about
changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this
world & 6 billion different personalities. She's
special & she will stay that way. You change any
part of her, you'll change her forever. Don't
substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique
in their own ways.

Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you
so you'd better really treasure her. She could
have just got up & date a so much more dashing
guy in town but she chose you instead all because
of love. So love her guys, not play with her. Don't
just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever. If
you're with her, love her.

Don't cause a strain in the relationship, you'll end
Up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's
not respecting love at all. Respect love the way it
is & everything will be the best it can be. I've been
there & I know how it feels.

Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only
one in the world & she's done the best she could.

Like another girl while you're in a relationship?
Then I think it's time you remain single for a while.
Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most
tragic thing to do.

Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you
want her to tell you everything, do the same.

Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling",
how would it feel if your girl calls other guys the
same way? Be faithful, enough is enough.

Socialise only when you're single. You socialise &
flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get it
over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.

It never kills to be romantic. Think, be
flexible. Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift
for her. Be realistic, she's human & she lives life
just like you. Something sweet & simple always
get the job done.

Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love.

Never promise her that you'll love her forever
because your forever might end the next day. Love
her as if each day is the last.

Sweet talking only applies for singles, not for
attached guys. Do that & you'll really break your
girl's heart.

It isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a
sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.

Promise her & make sure you never break the
promise. Swear to her & make sure you live up to
your word. Pledge your love to her & her alone.

Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but
trusting her not to. Same goes for her, giving u her
heart means allowing u to break it and trusting u
not to. Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it.
Shouldn't you do the same thing as well? That's
love.

Give her your heart, your life, your everything. Lay
down your life & prepare to die for her when the
need arises. But stay strong & live through another
day, she can never live without you.

Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry
her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd
die.

Its her heart that you've broken, how would you
ever know how she feels?

Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't
leave her once you've won her love. Love her all the
way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love
her till old age, love her till death. If you can love
her till the end of time, you've earned the honor &
respect for you've truly loved her.

She chose you because she believes that you can
fulfill your promise. Win her heart & love her over.

Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's
someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".

2005-02-25T15:16:00.000+08:00

I'm still curious whose that underscorer. I thought was my classmate but i guess i was wrong. Maybe just a random person looking around.

A missed call yesterday on my HP while i was sleeping. My HP is on 24/7. Private number, wonder who was that. Called once and nv call again.

I've been thinking of a conversation I had with a friend couple days ago. I really wouldn't encourage them to carry on. You once told me or made me feel that you were concerned about how other around you feel bad or sad when you're with someone. Thats why you broke up willing to sacrifice your own happiness because of how other feel. But now its the other way around. You're happy now with someone and doesn't get bother by how other feel. That's good cos you can find your own happiness. But have you thought the person you're with is wrong? Seriously speaking. I'm sure some of your friends have talk about it with you. I'm sure theres someone else who can give you double or triple what you're feeling now as long as you'll willing to give the person a chance. Yes, just by talking i can say its not my problem but deep deep down me as a friend i want to help but i don't know how. Its true that not my problem has become a problem for myself cos i've been thinking how to help for days.

If you're really sick or in real pain do go see the doctor. Remember you told me that your grandfather ask your mum not to cane you or somesort. Know why? because he doesn't want you to get hurt or be in pain. I'm sure your grandfather will ask you see the doctor if he knows you're in pain or sick. So stop beinging stubborn and listen to me. Yar won't die if you don't see the doctor but if have serious illness how? Those who care for you? your parents, sibling, friends, me? I myself also don't like to see doctor. I have chest pain for years but after thinking what if I die? Selfishly thinking, the most only ppl cry thats all. What about the responsibly towards my parent and sibling? I don't wish to see anything happening to you. Arghh i got a hospital appointment next week 3rd March.. -_-||

After all those advise I have given, I hope you'll listen to me althought you din't want me to mention this. If I don't mention this who will wake you up? Do some self soul searching. Maybe those small problem I made it sound like big problem. But I'm a complicated thinker who think far ahead. Thats just me. What I said might even backfire causing you to hate me. But I don't care, if hating me cause you to realise what I said thats good if not I also don't know.

Call me if anything coops up. Will be at Hougang meet Mr. Yu and Gang. Ciao!

P.S. Sorry about mentioning your grandfather.

2005-02-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was just another day.

I was supposed to pass over the E-Business Project(EBP) to Jesscia to follow up on the report writing but then i guess its abit too plain. Maybe not to her liking cos she's hoping for A for the subject. My bad. Hmm just added some picture and editing to the web. Should be ok or else she'll go nagging again. Lmao

During Enterprise Resource Planning(ERP), we had to exchange and mark the Progress Test paper which was done last week. Eeek nearly flank 26/50 Thats the result for last minute study. Like an hour before test starts while i was on the train. Boring!!

I think Calvin brought his Football Manager(FM) game to sch and installed it. He and Aidil rename the players name in Manchester United and replace it with theirs, Weihao, Hungpoh, Arul and myself -_-|| During matches, Aidil was talking loudly
cos "the player with his name" on the game was misses chances to score so was Calvin... crazy fellows. Lucky we were having 15min break from lesson or else they might have their arses kicked out.

Today

Just recieved an email from David Lee my class advisor(CA). Cool from today onwards I don't have to go classes on Tuesday and Friday (half-day) *runs around madly* Althought i've not been going on Tuesday since I last passed up my ISP.

Did editing on the EBP Webby, research on ERP project and some self-study. Yup you heard me SELF-STUDY. Lol you might think i'm kidding. Seriously i was doing self- study but gave up when i thought of her. I did tried to concentrate on other thing but its damm FUCKING HARD.

Shall sign off here. Will be watching soccer at 3.30am ^_^

2005-02-20T23:21:00.000+08:00

Human's mind is kinda complicated. One minute you're thinking about this and next you're thinking about something else. Weird huh?

One minute i was talking about minimize the contact with her but yesterday i was smsing her. what the.. and this morning i even dreamed of us being together thats the 2nd time >.< Does that count as a nightmare? =X

Was in her blog awhile ago,

Oh.. erm... to some FRIENDS out there...
I'm attached. And it has been some time already.
And I'm very happy now.
Aye.. Just suddenly wanna let you know it.
Sorry...
Just hope that you can find the right girl for yourself.

Was that aiming for me? Well IF its for me, SILLY GAL whats with the sorry again -_- curiosity really killed the cat but sometimes its better to know the fact earlier althought I knew the result and I was clinging onto it. I guess its her second boyfriend after me. I'm neither sad nor happy just normal hearing this. I'm cool with it and actually happy for her knowing she is very happy now. :p If you ever need a listening ear or shoulder to lean on, I'll be there. *winks*

Its ok to have relationship but if one side is serious about it and the other party is playing around please stop. Someone is gonna to get their feeling hurt badly. Even if you know its like that but you still carry on, just be sure the person don't get to over serious. Know what i mean? Nope I'm not bad mouthing anyone or is it my problem. Its just me, personal view, the thought of it makes me type all this down.

For me, myself, its the responsibility of loving, taking care and being faithful to the person I really love and maybe getting marry. I know its still a long way ahead and not just the loving feeling will led you to marriage, there's other factor too. what about you?

"Getting into a relationship isn't all about feelings, cause feelings may die out after a while so its the rationality in the relationship that makes it last."

agree?

2005-02-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

Dear diary...

Things sort of went up and down... and I think I won't be able to endure...
At times, things went wrong, I really tried to look at them from a positive point of view but..

I really need to look back what i said on Monday. Yes, i wanted to minimize all contact with Angela so i can somehow reduce the love thing but not forgetting her as a friend.I thought that was the faster way to kill off that feeling but i was wrong Even thought i remove all contact i mean ALL but its already in my memories with just one last look.
Was curious, so went into her blog late last night. Now i'm feeling like a JERK. The thought of having her to even feel she wanted to cry makes me like a JERK. I hated when guy made a gal shed tears. I can't believe i'm one them. I hope it doesn't affect her studys in anyway. Maybe she misinterpret what i said or perhaps i din't made it clear. I'm very sorry for what i said. There's always a place for her in my heart. I still hope to accompany her back home someday. I can't let go...

Today i nearly overslept.. thanks to my cousin's sms woke me up. Was having my runs 1.5km but i was having tummyache. Its pain !!! but i still took part walking. After that was better, joined in a game of soccer under the blazing sun. I lasted about 1 hour then i quited cos PAIN was back.

Right now i'm having fever with headache its damm spinning and spinning none stop. Maybe i missed her...

2005-02-14T23:47:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day

I guess its all over. Another chapter of my life ended just like that. Its part and parcel of life right or am i wrong?

Do I blame her for anything? nope, for me loving her is already not enought where do I got the time to blame her so you don't have to apologize to me. Its alright. Maybe its not my time to be in love.

Have to shift my focus on other things as some say time will heal. Minimize all contact with her till i can regard her as a friend. Arghh.. its so hard. But hey if you need help, i'm more then willing to help you. You still got my contact i suppose cos by the time this blog is posted, all contact related to you should have been deleted. I think its the best way for me to stop all those feelings to continue flowing...

To fall in love is always easy
To start a relationship is always simple...
To build it, is always tough...
To maintain it, is 'better said than done'...
To break off, is 'easier said than done'...
To remain friends after u broke off, is never possible...
To forget the memories is 'always doing but never succeeding'...
To heal the pain within is hard and tough and never near simple...
But one has to try to heal your own heart...
The heart belongs to u...
If u don't heal it and have a space for someone to walk in,
The heart will always be sealed,
Memories will never be forgotten,
The pain will never go,
And u will never move on from where u started...

The History of Valentine's Day

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

2005-02-13T03:50:00.000+08:00

How should i start... i've been rather "busy" not motivated to blog and so on.. Even if i got the time to blog i would delay it and then forget about it later on. Yar, I know its lame.

Lets start on

5th Feb..

Cool it was Angela B'Day ^_^ Remember i went to the nursery around Thomson Rd to shop for Chinese New Year plants when i spotted their shop website. I thought it would be better if I order flowers to her house. My first time sending flowers to a girl @.@

Wanted everything to work out as smooth as possible but there was trouble..

I don't know her address althought i sent her back before so decided to ask a couple of her friends but they were tight-lipped about it. I had to make a trip down myself to collect "information" double and triple check to make sure i wrote the correct address. There was this tricky part regarding the road name. I checked the Street Directory. There was 2 road name.. had to check the net for the exact street name. Lucky me...

The form of payment.

I had to borrow Junhan's Debit Card and I feel uneasy having someone else password relating to important stuff so i had to go Junhan's house to do the booking. After 2-3 hours its still not SENT! No wonder ppl are still uncertain about the security and other problems on the net. Its a long story during the process of booking but in the end it can't send. Had to redo it at my house.

Choosing the type of flowers.

Din't wanted to chose the Ferrero Rochers bouquet knowing that she dislike chocolates

Chosen this

Borrow the language of flowers to express your heart's desire. Our pink roses speak of love, admiration and perfect happiness. Arriving with Lucas Bear in a basket encircled with baby white feathers.

Nice? Will everything on the webby was nice. Glad that she likes it...

Its just flowers n bear that i sent to her like a normal friend but i'm still hoping to be with her...althought i keep telling myself not to expect much from this. silly? fool? whatever you think.. Kept telling myself to move on but i can't

Lastly I really have to thanks Junhan if not there will not be flowers and bear =(

If someone comes into your life and becomes a
part of you but for some reasons he/she couldn't stay,
don't cry too much...
Just be glad that your paths crossed and;
somehow he/she made you happy even for a while.

Feb 9th

About 12noon went to my mum side grandparent's house. Kinda sick and tired last night can't sleep tossing and turning cause my chest was in pain again.. Was not really interested how many hongbao i got or what.. was good to see my little cousins. *winks*
Around 4-5pm left for my Dad side. We were still consider early to reach there. As most of them just arrived only.

Feb 12

Was surfing around checking other blogs when i saw my cousin's blog, Maria. She saw from her friend blog about blogging helping her discover and pen down thoughts of her innerself. I got to totally agree with Maria Point Of View. Because of blogging i know myself much better. Being a complicated & thinker & emotional person. Having to think what and how things happen around me made me learnt quite alot about life and so on.

Saw Angela's Blog on memories

Life is always full of ups and downs.
Just like my blog title,
The Lost Memories.

If one day, your lost memories comes back
and you realise that your present lives
is being affected. What will you do?

Or

If one day, you lost your memories
and you wake up to realise you have to
start life all over again.
What will you do?

I wished i could restart my memories all over again. Just like playing games if i'm not happy with my char i can delete it and restart a new char. I want to be prefect even though nothing is perfect but to be near perfect. Forget all the past restart all over again unless they are thing worth remembering...

A relationship that draws on tears is not love; it is merely memories that cannot be forgotten.
-- Bernard Yen

2005-02-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

Hiya!!! Nothing much happened lately so din't blog

Sch as usual but with shorter timetable 2-3 hours of class and back home =( Yup i'm complaining about it! Sometimes reaching the sch to find out there was no class for the day was really disappointing... either slacking away at home or doing bit by bit of the projects =/ For sometime nv catch movie maybe i'll treat myself 2morrow

Love Story In Sec Sch

Loves usually begins in secondary school, thats why, secondary school life is always so full of memories...

He and She was in the same secondary school. He was older then her by 3 years, so they did not know each other at first... Walking pass each other, crashing into the same guy in the bus a few several times... She did not notice him, and he did not notice her...
But At that year, things started to change, and led to a story, which none will forget...

At that year, online chatting has just been introduced, and it was hot among students, and especially teenagers. He was curious about what online chatting was all about, so he connected the MIRC, and went to his school's IRC channel. He met her...

He went into the channel.. looking through all the nicks, he saw a nick " ReMeMbeR"... he find it special, so he clicked on the nick, and he and she started chatting for the first time...

Days passed, they met in school too... She was really pretty, and he was really cute looking... When he saw her, he would smile and walk pass quickly... She too... she only gave a smile everytime she see him... They have never talked much face to face... But when both of them where online, chatting, they would have loads and loads to talk about... Soon... both of them fell in love... He was the first person that she loved, and she was the first person that he loved.. But they never did tell each other about their feelings towards each other... Then... she changed school, and moved house... They lost contact...

Years passed, He could still remember her... They have been seperated for about 6 years, and both of them had already reached working stage... He became a fasion designer, she became a fasion designer too, though they were in the same line, Fate was never onto them, he never saw her and she never did see him at all...
Until that day, He was to represent his company to sign a contract with the other suporting company. He met her... He saw her... Memories came back... Everything.. the times they had.. the Path that they had once taken... all flashed and re-capped in his mind... He and she had a long talk.. they begin to contact each other by exchanging phone numbers....

One day, He login into his MSN messenger.... and someone had added him.. the nick was "ReMeMber"... He knew it was her.. they started chatting, soon, he told her that he like her before, and still do... there was no reply for a moment.. then, the girl replied that she was felt the same at first too.. she like liked him alot alot.. but thinking that he didn't like her, she did not dare to express her feelings... She apologized, a regretfulsorry, and told him, she had already gotten married a year ago and is living well with her husband and baby boy... She told him to forget about her, then she quited... And never came online... They lost contact forever... He was sad... dissapointed, and full of regrets..Should he have told her that he liked her, today, they might still be togther.... regrets... regrets...

In order to remember the Love that they once shared, and in order to remember her.. He contacted MSN and paid an amount of money, to personalise, and reserve the nick "Remember" just for her...Only she can use the nick "Remember" and he did this all... Just, to remember the girl, tht he had always loved.. but were never bound to be together......

2005-01-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

Boredom has began eating into me...

Last time i used to be a also hardcore online gamer. Waking up in the wee hours playing online game, Darkages. Which was then from Singapore server. Training and training non stop. After Singapore server closed down, i moveed to the US server. Which was also the same.

1 thing bad about this is i'm glued to the game and it makes me really lazy to go out but playing the game only. Of course there are many bad points about it. dip in result, growing fat at home =/ etc.

Eversince i left that game, there's not much game that can attract my attention and also due to nagging from Aunt. Playing everyday won't help me in anything. It just help to pass my time only. Just for relaxing maybe abit of Gunbound or CM03/04 or CS other then that nothing.

With the new super short timetable, i wonder how am i going to cope with that. Yup you heard me right. Complaining about the short timetable =/ I really need to look for something to do..

Was surfing the net when i came upon this story

A Love Story

She was not beautiful.

Nothing about her was extraordinary.

Nothing about her made her stand out in a crowd.

She grew up in a family of six and being the eldest, she learned about responsibility at an early age.

As she grew stronger and brighter, she instilled a sort of light and cheer to whomever she met.

She was not beautiful, but she made others feel better about themselves.

She meets a rebellious boy who thinks he is all man.

Befriending him, she teaches him.

She teaches him how to read and a little boost, the 'man' needed to go to college.

They become fast friends and she fell fast in love with her rugged handsome student.

The 'man' then finds himself in love with a girl.

A girl who was so beautiful.

Her hair was a hallow of light around her

Her eyes the bluest blue of the ocean.

'Like an angel' he tells his tutor, 'like a beautiful angel.'

The girl swallows a lump at her throat.

She was not beautiful.

She did not possess the heart of the one she loved, but she did not care.

As long as he was happy, she would be happy, or so she tried to.

She helped write the most beautiful letters to his angel. All the time visioning it was she herself receiving those very letters.

And so the girl helped him choose the right clothes, say the right words, and buy the
right gifts for his angel.

His angel brought him much joy and much pain to the girl who cried behind her smiles.

But that never stopped her from giving more than she will ever receive.

Then one day, the angel he loved left him for another man.

A richer more successful man.

The boy was stunned.

He was so hurt, he did not speak for days.

The girl went to him.

He cried on her shoulder and she cried with him. He was hurt and she was too.

Time went by and so wounds heal.

The boy realizes something about his friend/tutor. Something he never realized before.

How her laughter sounded heavenly and how her smiles brightened up the darkest days, or how simply beautiful she looked to him!

Beautiful. This plain, simple girl was beautiful to him. And he began to fall.

Fall so in love with this beautiful girl.

On one day, he picked up all his courage to see her. He walked to her house, nervous, and fidgeting. Running his thoughts over and over in his head.

He was going to tell her how beautiful she was to him. He was going to tell her how wonderfully in love he was with her.

He knocked. No one was home.

The next day, he found out that the beautiful girl he fell in love with had a brain tumor that put her into a coma.

The doctors were grim and the family decided to let her go.

One final time he got to see her. He held her hand. He stroked her hair and he cried for this beautiful girl.

He cried, but it was too late.

The beautiful girl was buried and the heavens broke.

Out in a beautiful spring shower, a cry for their loss.

She was the most beautiful girl in the world and she had taught the rebel boy-man to love and what it is to be loved.

She was the most beautiful girl in the world.

Look around. Aren't there a lot of plain faces? Take a good look. A real good look, or
you might just miss out that beautiful person. Forever.

Only boring people get bored.
-- Robin Beyer

2005-01-29T01:14:00.000+08:00
Finally the NET is UP! Singnet was giving problem just now around 7-12pm due to high traffic towards US server. At that time i thought i got hit by virus cos net was running so slow. Guess not =D

Theres Good and Bad News...

Bad news

My ITE CERT might have 1 lesser subject Internet Marketing (IMK)

Going home super early after 1-2 hours lesson

Wasting time at home

Good news

if i drop IMK means i got even shorter period for class. Everyday 1-2 hours in sch.

1 less project to do and to stress =p

Plenty of time to spare

Aiyoooo i did say want to take up courses but till now haven't start looking for it..

2005-01-25T20:59:00.000+08:00
I had no idea why i wrote those on Monday morning but that was my feeling at that moment. I'm not trying to tell other i'm feeling miserable or what but to just express my feeling althought i must admit i do must miserable...

Just bought a ankle weight at $40.95 for strengthening legs but my old injury on the left knee giving problem because of the heavy weight on the left ankle. Got to adjust the weights. *argh pain* Yar i'm weak =/

Some say i look fierce but if you think you got something to tell me go ahead. Don't beat around the bush. You hate, like or whatever just tell me straight not that i'm going to eat you up. Nah you don't have to bother how i feel. I'll take it as it goes. I did told a couple of them in my class. Well right now they change how i think and feel about them. Thats good. I find it hard to express someone i love. Feel kinda awkward like when you're face to face nothing to say so paiseh.. thats for me don't know how the other feels.

But there's something in particular which i really mind. You don't talk about my personal stuff, my family whom i love etc. Worst of all insulting them and it got nothing to do with you. I'm SERIOUS about this. Yar you can joke or whatever to a certain extent but a person's patience has limits and i don't find it funny. Know when to stop. Best of all don't tell me at all and don't let me find out you talk behind my back cos i'll hunt you down. You can try me. Imaging someone else talking about your family? I'm sure you don't like it right. Always think before you hurt other.

I always believe in respecting others. You respect me i'll respect you. Don't bully people and never let people bully you.

Added music, comment stuff and a new tag board !! YayYay its working I hope..

Reputation is made in a moment, character is built in a lifetime.
-- Deidre Skye

2005-01-24T08:58:00.000+08:00
I've been going to sch early not a single period late. Waking up 4-5am really helps =/

Dreams... everyone have that. For me dreams are my aim which i can think very far ahead but when i realised that it can't be met or have it happen to what i expected, its kinda of disappointing. Worst of all knowing the result which you din't expected it. Mostly being hurtful rather then being happy.

Lets take a love relationship as an example. For myself the above quote says it all. I wanted A plan to work but it turn out to be C plan but sometimes rarely its blessing in disguise.

How can you when you tried hard but without having to think that you're not bothering the person?

How can you tell if that person you love is still giving you chance?

How can you tell if there still hope for it?

Maybe actually just wanted to be normal friend which will be the last reason i hate to think of... because i am still hoping.

So many how... lets just say i'm not experience in this yet or i think too much. Take it slowly but for how long? 1-2 year later? lol

So if you feel you can help mail me at lionel_wang85@hotmail.com cos i don't really feel comfortable talking about it.

A much clearer TimeTable as promise.

Alright time to go for School !!!

Dreams are what I am made of. Reality is what I am.
-- Clint Echols

2005-01-23T22:50:00.000+08:00
Finally the barber is OPEN! He "off" for like two weeks best.. bwg aka nothing to say.

Well the BBQ was nice food food and more food ~.~|| Chicken wings, lamb chop, grilled lemon fish, satay stick with hotdog, capsicum, crabmeat and prawn on it, mango and strawberry with whip cream alot more stuff. Other relatives were there too.
After that, silbings, cousin and i went outside to play badminton. I din't know i looked like the target board or something. Shuttlecock was coming for me from all sides! even from my sis whose on the same team.. >.<

Saturday late afternoon went out with aunts. Guess where we went? If you did read the Saturday Straits Times about the farms around Kranji. Yup we went there! We went to the Goat, Vege, Fish and Frog Farm. First place was to the Goat Farm.Walking to the barn was horrible !! the smell was simply "wonderful" but when i heard the young goats making the sound "meeeh meeeh meeeh". The smell was out of my mind. The young goats was so cute. Feed them with dried shrubs which my aunt bought from the person incharge there. Next was the Vege Farm. Awww that place was closed. Din't manage to go in and explore but they were still selling some fresh vege. That place was own by Ivy Singh (president of Netball Singapore) and her husband. Next was the Fish and Frog Farm. Nothing much there but the feeling there was like in Malaysia. Thats a view of sunset from the Fish farm. nice huh? Its was close to evening so many other places were closed. Maybe we'll come back another day.

Next we procceded to Kranji Reservoir Park. Wooo DAMM NICE the place so windy better then east coast. From here we can see Johor, causeway bridge and also the sunset view awww so lovely best place for a couple...

Later at night i accompany my aunts to the nursery to buy CNY plants. So many lovely flowers and plants.

Last of all, Thanks Maria for the photos =D

2005-01-21T17:02:00.000+08:00
Cool template? Simple and light. Might look girly to some but i like it.

Some of you might find the flower familiar cos its being used in my grp project and the name too. Last term when Mdm Hassan passed us the project template, i straight away thought of this because the colour matches with what Mdm Hassan had passed to us and the name was right too. Tranquility means a state of peace and quiet It matches our Coffin business. Lol Yar Coffin. An oblong box in which a corpse is buried. *winks*

Spent the whole morning searching and configuring the template. Sorry to those who tried to leave a comment in the previous template. That comment box was not working properly or whatever decided to remove it. After much whining from Weihao muhahaha no standard one.. he told me he type a long comment but the comment page was not working. LMAO so right now i'm still trying out the new comment thingy .

I'm now at Ang Mo Kio preparing tonight's family gathering BBQ. So why i'm typing my blog cos there nothing for me to do or maybe just lazy to help.

Please wait patiently for the new comment thingy.

. : : iNNeR ThOuGhTs : : .

2005-01-20T22:30:00.000+08:00
BaCk!!! For 9 days i haven't blog. Laziness has come over me to blog.

I wonder why i continue to blog or start this blog for? is it to remind me of my happy and sad moments? to let the others know how i'm doing and feeling? having the responsible to update since its already here? to learn from my bad experiences in certain areas? I got no idea.. is it true that blogs often reflect the personality of the author?

Let's me see how should i start..

I'm been thinking about what Mr Faris said on his first lesson whose teaching us Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP). "What you want to be or do after gradation" I havem't really thought of that. In Sec Sch life i wanted to be a Soccer Coach to be the one to manage Singapore Team to World Cup. LoL =x hey anything is POSSIBLE. No one expected Singapore to win the Tiger Cup and maybe a Childcare teacher. Lol can you believe it? But now, i feel that i'm more suitable in the Army or Police. Not just those small ranking but be the best of the best ELITES. or MAYBE into political if Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew is my mentor. Lol sorry i'm crapping. So 4-5 months more till my National Service (NS) Should i sign on or into NS then come out and study.. serious thinking are needed hmmm

Thursday Angela accompany me back to hougang. Well actually i messaged her to accompany me back but the fact was i wanted to accompany her back. Feel bad having her to wait for me for 2 hours cos i finished class 2 hours after she finished. She wanted to wait and she was with her friends so i guess its alright. She's having her exam now so better don't distude her. All The Best!

This is my TimeTable For The Term abit blur and small will edit later going out now

TimeTable

As for today i din't go to school. I'm a good boy so don't think that i skip school *evil grins* I've almost completed the project that my group is working on, teacher had saw it and there was no PE so no Class for today.

Went out at 2pm. Met Yan Song and Erik at Yio Chu Kang MRT Station. We were heading for the Police Station HQ to ask about signing on all this stuff. But sad to say they told us you can find it on the internet.. LOL basket from tampines all the way just to have that answer =( i mean don't there have a inquire counter about this? bleh wasted my time coming down BAKA! We went to Ang Mo Kio for lunch and i bought the Jay Chou 2004 Incomparable Live CD for $20.95. Wooooo the neightbours are going to complain cos the music are ROCKING THE HOUSE!!! Hi-5 Surround sound Blah blah you name it i have it !!!

Today's preparation determines tomorrow's achievements.

. : : Second Day Of School : : .

2005-01-11T23:36:00.000+08:00
Today is the second day of school. I have a total of 4 subjects and short timetable! Will upload the timetable into net later. Woo alot of spare time. Have to start looking for courses to "upgrade" myself. Lesson starts today. A short intro of the teacher and blah blah blah in Internet Marketing. It enters into my ear and out throught the other. Muhahaha still slacking

At Clementi central, there was a Pasar malam. i brought 4 jersey! Inter Milan, Holland, Man Utd and Barcelona. Actual per piece is $20 but that uncle give discount of $1.50 per jersey. Total of $74 !! School just started and i'm already spent that much ~.~|| Time to Save !!!

Oh ya i'm still getting up at 3-4am !! =( if this goes on, I can go for morning run before going to school. lmao

. : : Yawn : : .

2005-01-08T22:47:00.000+08:00
Past few days i've been waking up at 4-5am !! If these goes on, i'm bound to be sleepy in class.

Anyway i went for a movie this morning at 10.50am
The Phantom Of The Opera
Woooo damm nice show. Its simply marvelous. The story of a disfigured musical genius who haunts the catacombs beneath the Paris Opera, waging a reign of terror over its occupants. When he falls fatally in love with the lovely Christine.

How did i know about this show? Well actually i was influenced by my Aunt whom i'm living with. She has the collection of the songs sang by Sarah Brightman. I liked the song alot. It express the feeling on the song.

. : : NeVer TaKe ThInG FoR GrAnTeD : : .

2005-01-06T04:06:00.000+08:00
So whats with the topic !?

Tuesday

Meeting my classmates for soccer at Hougang as they don't know where the place we are playing at. I suggested to meet at Hougang Bus Interchange. So time to meet was 9.30am, total of 9 guys. Erik, Erik's friend, Howard, Eric, Arul, Aidil, Hungpoh, Calvin, Xinghong (was sick on monday but manage to recover on time @.@) and myself. As usual i'm on time AGAIN! 9.25am. Last to reached there was Aru;, Aidil and Xinghong. Told everyone to meet at 9am they don't want.. cos i expected them to be late so just right 9.30am a grace of 30min. Not that i'm really fussy about the time but almost everytime they are late
=( unless i'm meeting girls then i relax abit LMAO

Reached home at hougang about 4pm bath and baCk to sleep! Woke up about 9pm had my dinner. I have this problem. A pain on the chest not really pain its like uncomforable. From the neck downward the middle of the chest its like the muscle are being squeezed tightly. Because of this pain i was unable to sleep. This problem started a few years ago.

Wednesday

About telling my mum about it there goes the nagging asking me to see doctor. 7.30am went down to have breakfast and then to the Hougang Poly clinic. BLOODY HELL so many ppl waited so long... and it just open only. Actually I went to see the doctors in private clinic about it but they said no problem ~.~|| Ok back to Poly clinic, i was told to go for futher checks downstair using the Electro Cardiogram(ECG) so whats that? Is an electrical recording of the heart and is used in the investigation of heart disease. Gee heart disease interesting... the place was crowded with old folks !! and i'm the only few young ones Lol. The Doctor even ask me why i was here X.X what a joke.. was i afraid? nope die die lor I got nothing to lose.

Even after the ECG the doctor said i was alright. Hmmm asked me it i wanted to go to Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH) for more checks.. with mum around of cos have to say YES. So next appointment on the 8th March 2005. 3 days after my Bday! Cool huh? =/ She told me incase i was to collapse no need to wait for the day but straight to Accident & Emergency (A&E) lol common sense. The clinic visit lasted 4-5 HOURS! =( From rainy morning to sunny afternoon and i was in my JACKET! Anyway i was well trained by the guys whom i always waiting for meetings. LMAO j/k guys

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
-- Norman Cousins

. : : AuntS aRe BaCk : : .

2005-01-03T22:57:00.000+08:00
Awww been raining everyday !!!

Just got back from dinner at Swensen located at Tampines with aunts, uncle and brother. The aunt i'm staying with got back from Taiwan yesterday evening and the other aunt just touch down a couple hours from France. So 1 week of being alone with sibling is over. =(

The adults were talking about the Tsunami. What had happen blah blah blah. When i remember something I read on newspaper made me joined in the conversation. After what had happened they will have to rebuild this and that. Many children will become orphan. That is just the starting. It still have the disease part due to the exposed corpse, lack of food and water and many other factors. What pissed me off was during this recovery, some people take it a chance to steal, rape, kipnap and have fake donation drive. 7 adults raping a young girl after what she had overcome and now this. Children got kipnapped and sold as slave or be drug carrier. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Those people better caught and get a super duper heavy jail term. I mean come on everyone is helping out and they are doing such thing. What a disgrace!!!

Last of all, we got to stand up and applause for the Aid workers. They are the HEROES. Going into a unknown country helping while their family is away from them.

Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can.
-- Jessamyn West

. : : NeW YeAr ReSoLuTiOn : : .

2005-01-02T04:35:00.000+08:00
Last Year been a rather suck up year for me? Blah don't know why I say that. Maybe this might tell you why...

I've been wasting alot of time slacking infront of the computer. Need to find extra courses to upgrade myself if not I have nothing I mean NOTHING. I don't have a overall pass result in 'O' lvl cert, with a 'N' lvl cert I can't go far, currently in ITE studying Business Info Tech for 6 more months and WALA national services!! Almost 20 years down the road filled with playing, slacking and studying. Theres a point in life where you need to get serious.

In this world, they talk about CERT without it you can't go far. Yar, some might disagree with me cos from TV some successful people don't have a good qualification but end up very successful. You know why?
Because THEY ARE HARD-WORKING or THEY WORK FOR IT. Its either you work your ASS up or you're born with a Golden Spoon. There's no easy way up. Unless you can hit the jackpot Toto or 4D which is like 1 in a few million chance. *prays for it to strike* Bleh i forgot i don't gamble =/

Without the extra skills, I'll be at a disadvanage in the working force. So what if I have good financial support from my Aunts, they can't be always there for me forever right? I need to think for my future... so have you thought of that yet? I did.

Oh ya ALSO AIM FOR THE BEST not just a pass will do. I'm refering this to some of my friends. You know who you are.. althought its not my problem but I CARE!

Being loved from someone you loved is something so sweet that i can't find a word to describe. Even though it lasted for a few days. Haizzz lets take thing slowly as it goes. If you're suppose to be together, you'll be together no matter what. Thats what i think...

Maybe i should take up piano, drumming, driving lesson and MORE.. Aiya so many i want to learn... need to do some research first. Age is never a factor if you're willing to learn just like my Aunt i'm staying with. She is constantly upgrading herself. She keeps urging us to do this and that which is good for us but it really takes discipline to do that!!! can you or me do it?

What have i been blahing about.. *smack head* what a nightmare

The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare

. : : HaPPy NeW YeAr : : .

2005-01-01T04:40:00.000+08:00
Happy New Year Boys and Girls !

Got back home a couple hours ago. Met up with Jessica, Erik and Hungpoh at City Hall about 9.45pm. Going to watch a movie Kung Fu Hustle and meeting Wenyu and Eric at Suntec City. Almost full house and the movie SUCKS BIG TIME! OMG over lame till i never laugh. =( Maybe partly my mood. After the movie not sure where to go. We decided to walk to Esplanade to join in the countdown.

Wooo damm packed from the entrance till inside HUMAN JAM! Reached there just in time. 1 minute of silence for the people who die in the Tsunami and WALA HAPPY NEW YEAR. Well no fireworks due to recent happening as a respect. People behind were spraying.. those "thingy' don't know what you call them. Grrr the horrible smell. Had to push ourselves out from the place.

Some of us haven't eaten so we kept walking till we saw a coffeeshop near Bugis. Meanwhile i was busy smsing New Year greetings and make a couple of call to Taiwan and France to my Aunts =D France is like i think 7 hours slower then us so its not yet New Year for them. Everyone called some food and all of us shared. Erik, Eric, Jessica and Wenyu shared a Cab back home. Damm Hungpoh keep asking from the beginning is Huifen coming blah blah blah and then call her and met her. Grrr BAKA!. For myself, got to go home by cab $15 and little sis was at home alone!!! I bet she did enjoy being alone at home playing games till i was back =(

Overall still can if not i'm be spending New Year Eve playing games =/ oh ya i feel i was too quiet LOL nothing much to say. Maybe still don't know them well? or maybe the above above problem made me jealous? or I'm SIAO!? (MAD) LMAO

Faith makes all things possible. Love makes all things easy. Hope makes all things work.
-- Edgar Allen Poe

2004-12-31T01:14:00.000+08:00
This afternoon went out with Aidil, Arul n Huifen. Met up with Arul n Aidil at Bugis MRT station as usual they are late.

So why are we there..

After knowing where Junhan bought his converse bag which was at Pacro Converse shop. We proceeded there but there was no more of that stock >.< I think they have stop producting that bag. The only chance i could think of is to head for their main branch. Anyone know where is it? Hey if anyone saw that bag
PLEASE INFORM ME

Thats The Converse Bag

Next up to Sim Lim Square. Aidil was looking for the graphic cable. Funny part was he forgotten either the CPU or LCD screen has pin or not. So he just bought one which he "thinks" was correct. Oh ya was reading newspaper saw that Jay Chou has released his Biography !!! Book Titled "Grandeur De D Major" I WANNA BUY! but so sad its in chinese.. grrr you know my chinese cannt make it.

"Grandeur De D Major"

Headed for Peace Centre (thats the building name i think) to have game of Pool thats when Huifen joined us. *cheers* So long never see her. That game was my treat! About 2 hours later we went to have dinner at Long John Silver. Chit chat with Huifen on how we spent our Christmas's eve and was thinking of planning 2morrow but she will be meeting her friends and the guys were lazy =( Slack around at Plaza Singapura when Calvin called up wanting ot meet us at about 9.45pm. (just released from work) Interesting he brought someone along. Remember that sms gal? he keeps smiling whenever he replys the sms. If i remember her name correctly it was Xiaoling. Awww had to leave early, my little sis is starving at home ~.~|| After dicussing about next week meeting for soccer, i left so did Xiaoling.

Life is a song. Love is the music.
-- Ludwig van Beethoven

2004-12-30T04:10:00.000+08:00
Interesting Love Story

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate anymore.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce.I raised a serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So ! when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked this carefully and intimately at this woman for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head!

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, its time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice what our life lacked was such intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door.

I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. Im serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am
supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote,

I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

2004-12-29T07:23:00.000+08:00
Ever Wonder Why Woman Cry So Easily?

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......

Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......

The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry

so easily?"

GOD answered......

"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort... !

I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.

I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....

She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....

I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly....

For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....

When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.

2004-12-28T02:37:00.000+08:00
Since Sunday i woke up at 2pm till now i only slept for 3 hours! Thats about 30 hours AWAKE !!! panda eyes @.@

Everyone heard of the Tsunami in Asia? It happened like all of a sudden. Everyone was caught unware.

This morning which is on a Monday morning about 2am, I was doing major upgrading on my blog. Actually the pic and colours only. I decided to remove the music and tag board. For some unknown reason pop-up are appearing.. hmm better be sure then to be sorry later it auto install spy software in to the broswer.

At about 5.45am, I had to get ready to go to the airport. Accompanying my Aunt and Uncle there as they were going on a trip to Taiwan for 1 week. So its my sis and me alone at home. Went home and had a 3 hour nap.

Heavy rain prevented me from leaving the house to look for the converse bag.. geee looks like have to stay at home.